Fables fantasy casting
So recently, I saw that Disney was going to cast Amanda Seyfried as Cinderella, and I was like, “That’s perfect! She’d be great as the princess turned ass-kicking spy for the fables!” And then I realized it was for a Disney movie and not a Fables movie, and that’s when I remembered again how much I hate Disney.
So, to cheer myself up, I am making a list of my dream cast for a Fables movie, or TV show, or play, whatever.
(For those of you who don’t know what Fables is, please check out the excellent comic book by Bill Willingham stat, it is so good, I mean it.)
1. Getting it out of the way: Amanda Seyfried as Cinderella. I think this role perfectly encapsulates my dream of Amanda Seyfried roles. It’s got the princess thing that Hollywood insists on putting her into, and it’s got the ass-kickery that I want for her.
Plus, wouldn't Ms. Seyfried look just delicious in that dress?
2. Ron Perlman as Beast. OK, for one, the guy’s already played Beauty’s Beast, so there’s that. For another, I was thinking of casting him as Bigby, but then I thought he just didn’t quite fit my image of Bigby, and then I thought, “duh, Beast!” So there you go.
Plus, I swear Mike Mignola wrote Hellboy daydreaming about Ron Perlman.
3. Grace Park as Snow White. She’s so pretty, and she kicks ass 12 ways from Sunday. (I don’t know if that’s a saying, but I’m going to pretend it is.)
Here you go, fanboys.
4. Cillian Murphy as Prince Charming. Mostly for the cheekbones, but also for those insanely blue eyes.
Besides, he kind of seems like royalty already.
5. Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Bigby Wolf. He’s grizzled yet sexy, and I think he and Grace Park would make a really cute couple.
Also, he would make a cute couple with me. We'd be adorable. So cute.
6. Zac Efron as Pinnochio. Mostly because he’s really short, but also because I think this boy potentially has some acting chops now that he’s breaking away from Disney. I could be wrong, though, or distracted by his blue, blue eyes. (I guess I have a weakness for blue eyes.)
Also, since I have a hard time believing they make boys that pretty, I could get behind the idea that he is carved from a block of magical wood.
7. Tricia Helfer as Briar Rose/Sleeping Beauty. Unfortunately, Sleeping Beauty doesn’t get to kick much ass, but she does get to sleep a lot, and I think Tricia Helfer deserves a break because she guest stars in everything. Mostly, though, it’s because she is just so gorgeous.
Yup. Gorgeous.
8. Takeshi Kaneshiro as Mowgli. I know he’s the wrong race, but it just doesn’t seem right to me to have a dream cast and not include Takeshi Kaneshiro as the guy who’s shirtless a lot.
Because he's made of perfect.
9. Ian McKellen as Gepetto. I just think Ian McKellan is awesome, and I think he could handle both aspects of Gepetto’s personality: the kindly old father figure and the SPOILER ALERT. (I’m actually not even going to spoil this, because you should really read the books. Although, I guess by implying it’s something cool, I am kind of spoiling it, but not totally.)
Why, I'm just a harmless little HUMAN-KILLING MUTANT, SUCKERS!
10. Maggie Smith as Frau Totenkinder. I love Maggie Smith. There’s something so inherently bitchy about her characters. I think she could make the switch to witch easily. (Yeah, I rhymed that on purpose. Yeah, I hate myself a little.)
Conveniently enough, here she is in a witch's hat.
Jamin said,
July 22, 2010 at 7:23 pm
i approve of that cast!
lokifire said,
July 23, 2010 at 2:25 pm
Wouldn’t they all be marvelous? Hollywood should look to me for casting suggestions, always.
Amanda said,
March 3, 2011 at 7:51 pm
Noooooooo not Seyfried a’s Cinderella, ugh! She just did red riding hood, that’s too much to cast her again i’n Cinderella, unless she’s one of the homely step sisters. She is hideous and I don’t like the way she acts. They should cast Scarlett Johansson, she would be great or a new actress!!!’. Loved Alice i’n wonderland, thankgod seyfried wasn’t In that!!!!!
lokifire said,
March 4, 2011 at 12:05 pm
Ouch! You think Scarlett Johansson is better than Amanda Seyfried? That’s just salting the wound!
Jing said,
October 9, 2011 at 2:43 pm
Hello, I recently watched a film called Wu Xia. The main character, Takeshi Kaneshiro, wore small, round spectacles throughout. It occurred to me that if a person can wear small, round glasses and still look Reasonably Hot, it is highly likely that with the glasses removed such a person would in actual fact be Incredibly Hot. In my efforts to prove this hypothesis I came across your blog. Which is excellent by the way
Your opinions concerning Cillian Murphy, Ian McKellan and the ‘Coop’ bare a striking correlation to my feelings towards those persons. I dunno, billions of people on this planet, it had to happen at some point. Anyway, please keep disseminating the Takeshi propaganda. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has God’s signature somewhere on him because for once here was a creation s/he could be proud of. Does that sound creepy? Yes it does. I retract that statement. Have you seen him recently? He has aged WELL. Seriously, like red wine etc. Apparently the man can get hotter than whatever ridiculous pinnacle of hotness he was at already. Anyway, your blog is absolutely hilarious. Keep up the good work!
DarkxNight said,
July 23, 2012 at 8:55 pm
Yes! Cicillian seems more of a darker prince to me
I love Takeshi and Maggie is awesome as well
I haven’t heard of Fables but I’ll be sure to look into it now
lokifire said,
July 24, 2012 at 9:26 am
Good, good! You should read it! It’s a very well-written, well-illustrated comic book, and I highly recommend it, with highfalutin words and everything!