Stupid Valentine’s day, with stupid romantic movies

February 14, 2014 at 11:15 am (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , , , )

UGH WHY DID VALENTINE’S DAY HAVE TO FALL ON A FRIDAY?

Now Hollywood has an excuse to put out a bunch of terrible romantic movies that will probably do well because people will feel compelled to go to “date movies” thanks to this monstrosity of a holiday.

As a matter of fact, no, I'm not in a relationship right now. Why do you ask?

As a matter of fact, no, I’m not in a relationship right now. Why do you ask?

Of course, Endless Love is just Nicholas Sparks-lite, starring Alex Pettyfer (whose career choices are really disappointing me, because he is really handsome, and I would very much like to watch him in a movie), so we won’t waste any more time on that.

"Yeah, let's just collect our paychecks and never speak of this again."

“Yeah, let’s just collect our paychecks and never speak of this again.”

And then there’s Winter’s Tale, which is apparently based on a 1983 novel I’d never heard of before this week, and features time travel (maybe?), a ridiculous flying horse (absolutely), and Colin Farrell’s caterpillar eyebrows (definitely). It looks silly and bad, and also there’s the line where he tells his romantic interest “you’re beautiful,” and she replies “so are you,” because DOES SHE NOT SEE THE EYEBROWS?

Maybe she meant, like, "Your soul is beautiful."

Maybe she meant, like, “Your soul is beautiful.”

So, anyway, Valentine’s Day is a true horror, and all these movies look also.

Oh, also, the Robocop remake is out. Huh.

I guess it's actually a commentary on drones now or something.

I guess it’s actually a commentary on drones now or something.

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2 Comments

  1. brikhaus said,

    Robocop is probably the most romantic movie out at the moment.

    • lokifire said,

      Yeah, if I had a date, I’d probably go see Robocop….
      Actually, nah. I’d probably track down a copy of the original and we’d watch that. Romance!

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