So after happening to watch a trailer for Bullet to the Head, I remarked to my parents: “First, there was a Schwarzenegger movie and now a Stallone movie? What’s next, they’re going to give Dolph Lundgren a new film?”
“Who’s Dolph Lundgren?” said my parents.
So one morning, Len Wiseman sat bolt upright while eating his Wheaties and wondered aloud: “Do you know what wouldn’t be completely unnecessary?”
“Is it a Total Recall remake?” replied his wife, as she worked on more ab crunches and practiced just the right way to flip her hair.
“Exactly right, famed actress Kate Beckinsale, honey!” Wiseman called back to her. “I’m sure most people still enjoy the first one, what with all the action and the comedy and everybody running around pretending they could understand what Arnold Schwarzenegger said, but you know what it needs?”
“So much more grit! Also, Colin Farrell.”
“Sounds good, sweetie!”
“I know, darling! That’s why they call me Len Wiseman!”