Jealousy rears its ugly barbed weenus

December 29, 2009 at 5:23 pm (I Write a Teen Romance) (, )

So it’s been more than a month since I’d written an excerpt from my supra-awesome supra-natural (I’ve decided I like the nonword “supra” lately) teen romance, and I’ll bet you all thought I’d given up on it. But giving up on things isn’t like me. Not. At. All.

On to the hilarity!

After having been so brutally dumped by her mysterious Bulgarian demon boyfriend (though it was for her own good, Whatserella reflected, and she had probably done something to deserve it anyway, like not loving him hard enough or whatever), Whatserella turned to her best friend, Random Guy, for support. She would have turned to her female best friend who is a little pudgy, but not too pudgy, but then we wouldn’t have a love triangle, because every supra-natural teen romance needs a love triangle. Unless I made it some sort of bisexual love triangle, I guess, but I think I’d start losing my target audience there.

Like this, but with more romance and less impossible angles.

“Thanks for being there for me,” Whatserella said to Random Guy.

“Arrrgh,” said Random Guy, because he was a zombie.

Wearing a bunny suit!

(Don’t forget, the school is full of them.)

“You’ve been such a great comfort,” said Whatserella.

“Aargh,” Random Guy agreed.

“If only we could be more than friends,” said Whatserella. If only, she thought, I didn’t still long for my darling Bulgarian demon lover guy, except he’s not actually my lover because TARGET AUDIENCE.

Random Guy said something. It may have been “braaaaains,” or he might have just been spitting out the quarterback’s finger, I don’t know. That’s the thing about zombies, the eating people thing.

Suddenly, Whatserella sensed a foreboding presence behind her.

“Jordan?” she said, or maybe his name was Jack?

“I’m glad to see you’re happy,” he said, and he tried to pretend like he really was glad, except he kind of ruined it by saying that sentence in, like, this really sarcastic voice, and also he rolled his eyes while he did it and punched zombie Random Guy in the face.

“You don’t understand!” she cried, but he had already stalked off or, perhaps, more dramatically disappeared in a cloud of smoke, like Nightcrawler from X-Men. Yeah, let’s go with the teleportation thing. Sweet.



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