A love letter to Jackie Earle Haley, or why did I like Human Target?

January 18, 2010 at 12:11 pm (Randomosity) (, , , , , )

So I watched Fox’s Human Target last night, and was totally prepared to love it.

I mean, the poster looks like it's exploding! How could I NOT love it?

Why was I prepared to love it? The reasons are easily listed, actually.

1) Rorschach’s in it! Rorschach’s in it!


2) Battlestar Galactica’s Bear McCreary is the composer for the series!! (On a related note, the man is named Bear and he is a composer for sci-fi/action series. If he were any more awesome, he would be fighting humanity’s enemies with his adamantium claws. I love you, Bear McCreary!)


3) It is based on the comic book created by Len Wein and Carmine Infantino.

And I think that crazy bastard Peter Milligan's been writing it lately.

Then I watched it. And I didn’t love it, but I liked it.

First off, Rorschach was exactly as awesome as usual. It’s like someone in Hollywood got off their ass and said, “hey, who could play a guy who’s a sociopath but is also on the side of good somehow?” And Jackie Earle Haley said, “I could totally do that,” and they said, “Really?” And he said, “Really,” and then they said, “OK,” and it was awesome.

Like, we’re introduced to Rorschach’s character, Guerrero, and the first thing that happens is these two toughs threaten to beat him up. And he’s all, “OK, but I warn you, I will have to fight back.”

Of course, this causes much hilarity to ensue, as the toughs are roughly the size of the Sears Tower and Rorschach isn’t exactly a superhero. I mean, he is, technically, but not the big, burly kind. More like the crazy Batman kind with gadgets and lifts in his shoes. Anyway, little tiny Rorschach is like “I’m going to fight back” and the toughs are laughing and he’s like, “Oh, I’m sorry. I have to clarify. By ‘fight back,’ I mean ‘take the beating and then kill you in your sleep later.'” And then he calls them by name. And describes their families. Suitably cowed/terrified, the toughs slink away. (What’s the past tense of “slink,” I wonder? Is it “slinked”? “Slunk”?)

I am fully confident that Jackie Earle Haley could easily kill us all in our sleep.

Right then, that was when I thought, you know what? This show could potentially be awesome.

It went on from there, guest-starring the supra-awesome Tricia Helfer, which means they’re totally on their A game from the get-go, those Human Target guys, because TRICIA HELFER!

There’s some fun fight scenes, some intrigue, some snappy banter. The main character has one of those jaws, you know, like a Dick Tracy jaw. All square and manly. Anyway, the main character is supra-manly and takes bullets like they’re vitamin supplements, so he’s cool.

Plus, he's one of those guys who's in everything, but you can't quite place him? A total "That Guy."

A couple of things did make me a little bit sad. I barely noticed the music at all, and it wasn’t until after it was all over that I was like, “Oh, crap! Bear McCreary composed the music! I totally forgot!” But I guess the music in a show like this isn’t as much a part of the atmosphere as in Battlestar, so I will just have to pay closer attention. The second thing was that Chi McBride was sadly underused in this episode, but previews for the season lead me to believe he will play a larger and more ass-kicking part, so I think we’re OK.

To wrap things up, I would just like to say, Jackie Earle Haley? You are awesome and I love you. If this show gets canceled, please, please, please find some other show to play a crazy sociopathic good guy on, because that would make me soooo happy. I mean, you can show range if you want, like playing, I don’t know, someone normal, but you don’t have to. I won’t mind. Call me!

Even if it's only to let me know you'll be dropping by to kill me in my sleep.



  1. Jamin said,

    nice. unfortunately, if the show is any good, it will be cancelled within half a season by dint of being on FAUX.

    • lokifire said,

      It wasn’t THAT good.

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