Mogwai ownership is just the pits, you know?

February 22, 2010 at 5:31 pm (Stuff that Bugs Me Right Now) ()

There are three basic rules to owning your Mogwai, in addition to the usual, like, clean up after them, don’t throw them at cars even if they are slightly football shaped.

(I’m so sorry, Sniffers! It seemed like a good idea at the time!)

Perhaps you should reconsider your purchase of any pet you can get at the Mysterious Asian Shop of Mystery.

1) Don’t expose them to bright light, especially sunlight, which can kill your Mogwai.

2) Don’t let water touch your Mogwai (or they’ll suddenly and convulsively produce offspring).

OK, those are both a little weird. Like, what kind of pet gets killed by sunlight, right? And what kind of mammal (I assume?) produces offspring after it gets wet? But still, OK. Rules. Can follow. Got it.

But then there’s rule number three.

3) Never, EVER feed your Mogwai after midnight.

OK, what the hell? Never feed your pet after midnight? You do know there’s time zones and stuff, right? Is that Eastern Time? Mountain? When does it stop being after midnight? I mean, technically, at 11 a.m., it’s still after midnight. (And before noon!) Don’t you think a specific window of time would be better, like: Don’t feed your Mogwai between the hours of midnight and 3 a.m.?

And what if you were in, like Washington, but then crossed into Idaho? Would it still be after midnight, or is your pet still on Pacific Time? What if you stood directly on the time zone line? Is that a safe zone?

A preferable alternative would be: Don’t feed your Mogwai after darkness has fallen. Then you wouldn’t have the time zones issue or the inevitable backlash when the evil ones mess with your alarm clock.

I mean, with a wanky rule like that, it’s like they want your pet to turn into a gremlin. A little specificity here, people, that’s all I need!

And then wreak havoc upon your hometown.

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4 Comments

  1. RubyRose said,

    Yes I’m clearly bored and and now reading your blog. I had those same effing thoughts on #3, so annoying. Or like daylight savings what happens then? also when is it after midnight? it there just a 12 hour window to feed them?

    • lokifire said,

      Umm … thanks, I guess?
      I’m glad you’re reading, but please, lie to me about the boredom!
      *sniff*

  2. RubyRose said,

    Oh no! I wasn’t bored reading your blog, it took it away! I had just read like 5 pages in a row.

    • lokifire said,

      Hooray! That’s much better, then.
      Thanks!

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