Here they are, in poem form (it’s a bad poem, by the way. The meter is off, the rhyme scheme is weak, but you know what? Cop Out is worse. This poem is a mercy.):
Cop Out, Schmop Out — a bad movie, sure.
The antics of 30 Rock can’t inure
you to the hell on earth that Tracy Morgan provides
as you’re dragged along on his lameass cop ride.
Bruce Willis is slumming and doesn’t seem to care,
and I can’t quite remember when he last had hair.
It’s supposed to be fun, make you laugh till you cry,
but really, you wish everyone involved would just die.
The jokes are too lame
the banter’s too tame
it’s like the stars just gave up on fame.
(Why does Seann William Scott have two n’s in his name?)
There is nothing good to be said for this show
I’m telling you now, for Bruce Campbell’s sake, don’t go!
You’ll want a refund indeed
and hazard pay you will need:
Cop Out is a crappy movie.