Has Gerard Butler ever been in a good movie, ever?

March 17, 2010 at 11:36 am (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , , )

So, this weekend, The Bounty Hunter opens. What can I say about The Bounty Hunter? My mother never bothered to teach me “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” so I could say lots of things. But why?

I mean, you’re not gonna see it. I’m not gonna see it. Do I have to say that it looks like poo? Poo on a stick, even? I don’t think that I do.

Actually, I think pooing on a stick would take more effort than making this film.

But what I do have to say is: Has Gerard Butler ever been in a good movie, ever? In fact, I had to say it twice, since that is the post title. (I’m assuming you read the post title already and are like, well, DUH, Lokifire.)

Now, we all know that Jennifer Anniston is, like, never in good movies, and we’ve come to expect that from her. And that’s all right.

I mean, you're doing your best, honey, and that's all anyone can do.

But for some reasons, hearing the name Gerard Butler makes me think (abstractly) of quality films. And then I think some more and I go, wait …. Wait. Wait. And then I look at his imdb page, and I go, what the hell made me think he’d been in good movies?

Possibly it was his exceptional good looks?

I think it might be his classy name. Gerard Butler. That sounds classy, right? The Gerard part, mostly, although “Butler” does make me envision guys in tuxedoes. But they’re holding doors open for you and calling you “sir” or “madam,” and they’re wearing little white gloves to check for dust, but whatever. Or maybe it’s the way he reminds me of Clive Owen for some reason, who actually has been in some good movies, though not that many lately.

It's just that I enjoy looking at you SO MUCH, Mr. Owen, and I wish you would try to be in a movie I would actually watch.

300 was kind of good, right? I never actually got around to seeing it, but it was based on a Frank Miller comic and had a bunch of nearly nekkid guys, so that sounds awesome. Does that count? Was 300 good?

Wait ... was 300 a porn?

What about RocknRolla? Did anybody actually bother to see that? It was Guy Ritchie’s ninth try directing the same frakking film, so maybe he got it right this time. Was it any good?

At first I was like, "Why is Clive Owen slumming?" And then I was like, "Wait, that isn't Clive Owen." And then I was like, "But he has been slumming lately anyway."

How ’bout all those rom/coms? I’m not a fan of the rom/com, so I wouldn’t know if they were any good. Were they?

Has Gerard Butler ever been in a good movie, ever?

(I guess I had to say it three times.)

Phantom of the Opera definitely doesn't count.

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19 Comments

  1. RubyRose said,

    Ha! I watched 300 for the first time on the weekend..and made an attempt to watch Rock N’ Rolla [or whateva.].
    300 was alright? I mean Michael Fassbender is in it..and I love him….I laughed a lot when Gerry was on screen.. Rn’R was pretty damn boring.. I got maybe half way through and gave up…I started doing chores around the house hoping that if I wasn’t paying so much attention I would like it more…I just watched Robocop instead then the next day I watched 300 with commentary, which I don’t recommend, Zack is powerful boring…
    but yeah I haven’t seen Gerry in much else, or if I have I’ve blocked it out..thank god.

    • lokifire said,

      OK, if chores are better than RockNRolla, I’m so happy I never got around to watching it.

  2. Frenzyfest said,

    Actually, yes.

    He was in Dear Frankie, which I thought was beautiful. And phantom is pretty enjoyable.

    Just thought I’d alert you to Dear Frankie 🙂

    • lokifire said,

      Consider me alerted. Thanks for the tip.

      • ptičica said,

        I don t want to be rude, but you sound a “little bit” ignorant, 300 is a historical event, historical battle that took place at Termopile where 300 soulders fought against far great number of Persians. They called it historical miracle because it really did occur what the movie shown. Of course how the director decided to interpret it that is an another story and by my opinion his artistic freedom. On the other hand I m from Europe so that explains being familiar much better with general culture. When it comes to Gerard – I agree he still didn t get the movie that he deserves, cuz I think that his potential is big (and I m not saying that because he s charming as a man..)

      • lokifire said,

        Oh, I’m sorry to come across as a “little bit” ignorant, you clever European bastard, but were you aware that the movie 300 was actually based on a comic book by Frank Miller? As I mentioned in the post itself? Which was ever so loosely based on actual events? Have you ever actually read a history book? Or does being European mean you just learn things by osmosis?

      • bleh. said,

        I LOVE phantom of the opera! Its a must see!

  3. Andrew said,

    lokifire said, I’m sorry to tell you this but the movie 300 actually was based on actual historical events so you really look like an ignorant piece of shit with no knowledge. So just don’t comment on things you don’t know about.

    • lokifire said,

      I’m sorry, Andrew, but who’s an ignorant piece of shit with no knowledge? 300 the comic book was based on historical events. Loosely, loosely, LOOSELY based. The movie was based on the comic book.
      Technically, yes, the movie would then be based on historical events, but before that IT WAS BASED ON A COMIC BOOK.

  4. Stephanie said,

    Law Abiding Citizen.
    That’s all I got.
    (and I liked Phantom of the Opera, but I guess you don’t care so it’s cool)

    • lokifire said,

      Thanks for trying to find a good Gerard Butler movie for me. I was starting to believe there was no such thing.

  5. Joan said,

    Oh dear you do sound confused. Sart at the beginning. Attila the Hun. The Jury. Please ( award winner) and everything he has touxched has turned to hollyhwood gold. Box office this man can do no wrong. Fact.. Phantom was a musica

    • lokifire said,

      Are you sure? Because I said Gerard Butler.
      Also, did you die or something? Your comment ends very abruptly.

  6. erica said,

    lokifire,

    it’s really strange for me to comment on a months-old post, but I felt like someone owed you some excuses and I though why not me.

    I just wanted to say I’m really sorry if some Europeans go around boasting about a so-called superiority when it comes to history et similia. Americans (and people from all the other continents) turn up to be a thousand times more prepared on many a theme that we, as Europeans, should be able to sing like christmas jingles, ’cause we are supposed to study on them for years since childhood. Which doesn’t happen as often as it should. As for you, I really don’t see where the “ignorant” bit could fit. So, a big “we’re sorry” from Europeans who don’t like that kind of attitude (believe me , there’s not just a bunch of us 🙂 )

    And now to your question! you know I find myself to ask myself that about gerald butler as wee and yeah, the way the name sounds adds a lot to one’s expectations lol.
    he actually has been in less good movies that I expected. I did like private justice, though. 🙂

    have a nice xmas ^^

    • lokifire said,

      Yea! You must be a European who’s heard of Frank Miller!
      Thanks for being so nice, and I accept your apology on behalf of the people of Europe who aren’t raging arseholes.

    • Michael Ampersant said,

      Yes, agree. The thing is, the US is a large place, so there are lots of outliers in all directions, and they are used to make themselves heard. So, there are lots of people who actually know about Greek history and so on, possibly more than in France, where I live.

  7. erica said,

    XD than

  8. gaelicwarlord said,

    Am I the only person here that thought he was brilliant in Law Abiding Citizen?

    How about PS I Love You?

    Honestly I’ve never seen a film where Gerard’s acting was poor, though I can admit that he hasn’t been portrayed in the greatest of movies, but to say he’s never been in a good film is quite the exaggeration.

  9. Pugabuser said,

    He is awful in everything. Life, dating, finances and movies. A loser, narcissist, sociopath. It shows in his eyes. His ship is going down.

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