What kind of people are you, indeed?

April 7, 2010 at 10:54 am (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , , )

The Tina Fey/Steve Carell vehicle Date Night opens this weekend and, after watching the trailer, I have but one thought: Who steals someone else’s reservation?

Weekends when only one movie is opening and it looks like some kind of good make my job very difficult.

Really. That’s it. It looks like a funny movie, and I can’t hate it. But I can hate people who steal someone’s reservation, because that shit’s just not cool, you know?

Really. This movie looks good and I covet Tina Fey's dress. This sucks.

I mean, they deserve what they get, with the thugs and the gun-tilting and Marky-Mark. Reservation stealers!

I guess I should clarify that this is a reservation for a table at a fancy restaurant, and not like, “The Rez,” because if it was a movie about people stealing a reservation reservation, that would be a totally different thing.

Plus, how do you even still a piece of land, anyway? You'd have to be some sort of magician. Or the United States Government. One of the two.

But they’re still jerks.

I mean, boo hoo! It’s your night out and you’ve got to make it special! Boo hoo! Your wife wears a mouthguard, so sexy fun times are hard. Hey. You know what? New York City has literally tons of restaurants. Seriously. Weigh them. Tons. You can’t get into the fancy restaurant, go to a different restaurant. It can be a special night if you have Thai noodles!

So, enjoy your case of mistaken identity, Tina Fey and Steve Carell. It’s no more’n what you deserve.

I mean it. Damn you guys for your quality movie. It shouldn't have to be this hard.

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