Sometimes bad movies just defeat me

April 21, 2010 at 11:19 am (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , , )

So the new Jennifer Lopez vehicle, The Backup Plan, right?

Looks like shite.

Absolute and utter shite.

Even the people coming up with the movie poster thought it looked like shite, and just gave up, so we got this.

I can’t even think of anything clever to say about it. I mean, it just looks horrid. Utterly horrid. Like Jennifer Lopez should concentrate on her singing career horrid. Really.

So, instead of telling you how truly and utterly horrible The Backup Plan looks (really, really, really truly and utterly horrible, really), I will instead wax poetic about the explosions-happy The Losers.

It's like Hollywood heard my pleas and decided to try making a movie that doesn't suck.

Boom! So many things blew up in the trailer! It was a thing of beauty!

(Jeffrey Dean Morgan is also a thing of beauty, so it’s nice to see him in another comic book adaptation.)

But who doesn't love the guy who played The Comedian, right?

There’s wit! There’s a yellow car! There’s some hot chick in lingerie! At one point, she has a rocket launcher! She is totally my dream girl, I swear.

Look at her shooting things! Mrow!

There’s explosions galore!

(I really like explosions.)

There’s a guy shooting people with his fingers!

OK, he's actually got a sniper behind him shooting people, which is totally what I am going to do now when I make finger guns.

A betrayal! CIA! NSA! Special Forces! EXPLOSIONS! SO MANY EXPLOSIONS!

It’s like they took everything I love that’s not ninja and zombies and wrapped it up in a burrito for me!

With a nice steamy topping of Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

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3 Comments

  1. RubyRose said,

    mmm JDM is all kinds of amazing. and Aisha is so beyond cool. Like I don’t even know.

  2. greg said,

    Chris Evans is a quadruple comic book threat (or something). He’s the Human Torch, he’s Captain America, he’s in the Scott Pilgrim movie, and now, he’s apparently in this. So…that’s gotta count for something.

    • lokifire said,

      It makes him my dream boy?
      Huzzah!

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