I must be feeling crabby this week

July 13, 2010 at 4:18 pm (Things I Want)

I want a new occupation, and it shall be thus: Slapping the hell out of people who deserve it. I will be known for my random slappings of assholes. Like a modern-day Robin Hood, only with more slapping and less robbing. (I’m willing to rob, too.) 

Also, I will not carry a bow, because those things are unwieldy.

I’ll have business cards printed, even!

Lokifire: Will smack some bitches up.

(Once I find someone who can get the appropriate design on a card for me, that is.)

I'm thinking of something along the lines of this awesome Namor bitchslap, all my artistically inclined friends.

It will be supra-awesome.

Is anyone willing to hire me? And pay for my defense in what I’m sure will be a load of lawsuits? I will slap so many bitches for you, you just can’t even imagine.



  1. dangerous meredith said,

    are you willing to travel to Australia? I might have a little work for you at some of the meetings I have to attend over the next few months.

    • lokifire said,

      Omigod, dangerous meredith, you are from Australia? No wonder you have “dangerous” in your name.
      I’d travel to Australia for the slapping, but I’m afraid someone would sic their pet carroway on me or throw me to the blanket octopi or something.

      • dangerous meredith said,

        yes – I read your blog about the dangers of Australia. Maybe I don’t need you after all. I’ll just train up a pet Cassowary or blanket octopus to go for the jugular of certain Committee members…

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