Because my desire to see this film is entirely dependent on that one piece of information. If the answer is “Not very long at all,” then I definitely don’t want to see it. If the answer is, “Actually, he’s the star, I don’t know why they wasted all that time in the trailer on Leonardo DiCaprio, to whom time is doing no great favors, looks-wise,” then I might maybe could want to see it.
Yup, that’s where things stand. Balanced on the sharp, sharp ridges of Murphy’s awesome cheekbones.
(Gods, they’re awesome, aren’t they?)
Sure, the special effects are pretty stunning, which is good, because if you’re setting a movie in dreams, they had better be, because whose dreams follow the law of gravity? Or is it laws of gravity? Whatever.
Oh, if you guys didn’t know, Inception is the new movie from Christopher “Memento” Nolan “The Dark Knight” … um … Nolan again.
It’s about people who break into dreams for some reason. I didn’t actually follow much of the trailer, actually, because I was like, omigod, it’s MICHAEL CAINE I love that guy and where’d he go?
Why is Ellen Page there instead?
What happened to Cillian Murphy and his cheekbones?
Why can’t I believe that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is older than 19?
So I wasn’t actually following boring, boring and slightly flabby Leonardo DiCaprio very closely.
And I apologize for that. Really, I do. I truly intended to go into this anti-review knowing what this movie was about.
But how can you stick Cillian Murphy in a trailer AND NOT LET ME KNOW HOW LONG HE’S IN THE FILM?
It’s just not fair.