But George Clooney is hot, though

September 2, 2010 at 3:00 pm (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, )

I don’t want to see The American.

I blame the title for that. The. American.

Poster's cool, though, in a kind of Ellery Queen mystery sort of way.

Sure, it’s concise, but it doesn’t tell me what the movie’s about, does it? And it’s not particularly descriptive, is it? I know tons of Americans! Some of them I would see movies about; some of them, not so much.

These two wankers, for example, are Americans I don't want to see on the silver screen. Also, they make me ashamed to be an American. (Well, them and the Jewish guilt.)

I mean, I think George Clooney is the title American in The American, but maybe he’s actually not. Maybe he’s, like, playing a New Zealander or a Canadian. Or is it New Zealandian? I think I’d go see The New Zealandian.

Especially if that New Zealandian wears tuxes with this much panache. (In this case, I'm using the word "panache" interchangeably with "sex appeal.")

But The American?

What is it, a film about an assassin who isn’t assassinating anyone?

For God's sake, George, pull the trigger! Why aren't you pulling the trigger? Just pull it! Just, bang! And you're done. Bang!

Count me out.

Unless there's an extended swimming sequence, or that situp scene lasts longer.



  1. Ange Bleu said,

    Faces stiff competition in the looks department from Taylor Hicks. Not as handsome as he once was but still hot! He remains one of my favorite actors & I look forward to seeing him in The American.

    • lokifire said,

      Whaaaaat? No, he’s totally one of those guys who’s gotten better with age.

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