Bad Ash vs. Bizarro

September 27, 2010 at 12:19 pm (Fictional Character Battles) (, , , , )

So Bad Ash is like the bad version of Evil Dead Ash, who isn’t really all that good when you think about it. And Bizarro was conceived as the mirror image of Superman, because someone had been reading a lot of Jung at the time.

This here's the toy version of Bad Ash, because it was hard to find the movie version. Lots of scantily clad ladies though, if you're looking to do an image search yourself.

Bizarro's little "No. 1" badge is made of awesome.

Which alternate version of a hero will come out on top?

And do you even care?

(Of course you do.)

On to the battle!

Physicality: Bad Ash looks a lot like Bruce Campbell until he gets boomsticked to death and then re-animated by an incorrect reading of the Necronomicon.

Yes, if you own a replica of this book, you are a geek. And that's OK.

(I’m just going to call it Book of the Dead from now on, ’cause screw Latin.) Then he looks more like a zombie. Bizarro looks like if Superman was in a really bad fire and had the world’s worst plastic surgeon try to repair his skin, using the skin of an albino who is also made of glass. Winner? Bad Ash, for at least looking like Bruce Campbell for a few minutes.

Would that we could all look like Bruce Campbell for a few minutes.

Wreaks more havoc? I feel like this is a category in a lot of these things, but I find havoc-wreaking to be an awesome quality in a fictional character. (It’s a much less awesome quality in a politician, but they all seem to possess it to some degree. Ha, ha, political jokes — over.) Bad Ash sends the Deadites to attack the village that Ash is protecting, and I’m not sure why we stopped calling them Candarian demons in Army of Darkness, but whatever. However, his plans are thwarted because Ash has a chainsaw hand. Well, he has some sort of robotic armor hand in Army of Darkness, which is cool, but the chainsaw hand is cooler. Bizarro wreaks all sorts of havoc, whether on purpose or by trying to imitate Superman. Winner? Bizarro, because have you seen what he’s done to grammar??

The armor hand is still pretty sweet, though.

More evil? Bad Ash is so evil he’s got “Bad” in his name, and not like “Bad” when people mean “good.” More like “just plain mean” bad. Bizarro is just a confused, tragic character who mangles grammar. (I really can’t forgive him for that.) Winner? Bad Ash.

Leads a legion of the undead? Hey, they don’t call it “Army of Darkness” for nothing. Winner? Bad Ash.

Is a more sympathetic character? Bad Ash, evil though he is, is mostly played for laughs because, by Army of Darkness, everyone realized the Evil Dead franchise was actually a comedic series. Bizarro has been created by, like, every Superman villain out there, because when they came up with the concept for Superman, they forgot that having an all-powerful hero makes for some pretty anti-climactic fight scenes, so all the villains are kind of wimptacular next to the world’s biggest boy scout. Thus, Bizarro, who has all of Superman’s powers and none of his good qualities, is born. The poor, sympathetic bastard. He didn’t even ask to be born! No one asked him! Winner? Bizarro.

Who looks at this mug and DOESN'T feel some sympathy, you know?

Dies a more spectacular death? First, Bad Ash gets shot and buried and then resurrected. Then, he gets torched. Then, he gets his hand chopped off. Even more then, he gets catapulted into the air and blown up with a sackful of gunpowder. Explode-y! Bizarro has been offed in a variety of ways, one of which includes a midair collision with Superman. But was there an explosion? Science says no. Winner? Bad Ash.

I can't decide if conjoined-twin Bruce Campbell is a dream or nightmare come true.

Is played by Bruce Campbell in a film? Winner? Bad Ash.

The overall winner in this (slightly) (biased) battle? Bad Ash.

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