Why didn’t I like Hawaii Five-O?

October 12, 2010 at 10:52 am (Randomosity) (, , )

I mean, I went into it wanting to like it.

How could it go wrong? I thought. It’s got Daniel Dae Kim, and he’s in Hawaii. Also, Boomer is there. That’s awesome!

And they will have their clothing sexily plastered to them THE WHOLE TIME!

But it did go wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. Daniel Dae Kim and the white guy (and, yes, I know it’s silly to think of a character in an American television show as “the white guy” because that’s, like, all of them, but that’s just how I thought of the guy, all right?) were running around all over Hawaii chasing this bad guy and nobody took their shirt off even once.

At that point, I'd've been satisified if the white guy had taken off his shirt. Don't you people sweat?

Come! On! It’s humid in Hawaii! You’re running! Daniel Dae Kim, do me a favor and make this show worth my while! Take off your damn shirt!

Why couldn't I have seen THIS episode?

And in addition to that glaring lack of upper male nudity, the show seemed to me to just be a generic cop show. You’ve got the alpha male detective (a.k.a. “the white guy”) and his partner (a.k.a. “the other white guy”) and then you’ve got the team of much more interesting actors/characters who don’t get as much screen time (a.k.a. Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park). When did I start watching Law & Order: SVU here?

Although I did kind of like "the other white guy." Probably 'cause he was using a cane, like House.

But sure, they utilized the scenery pretty well. There was a helicopter chase for no reason other than to show off the beauty of the islands, and a chase through the jungle with some bright red birds because Hawaii is just so pretty! We get it. If I wanted a bunch of footage of Hawaii, I’d watch a damn travelogue.

What I wanted from this show was gangs of evil surfers. Daniel Dae Kim shirtlessness. Grace Park punching things and people. The white guy getting a sunburn. (Because that’s what white guys do.)

Or Daniel Dae Kim splashed with water. Something. Anything.

I didn’t want Formula TV Show No. 578.

If Grace Park is in a bikini, all those guys should be in swim trunks. Especially Daniel Dae Kim.

On the bright side, though, they did keep the pride of pep bands everywhere: the awesome opening credits song. So there’s that.

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1 Comment

  1. 727 said,

    I also dropped it after one and a half episode. started watching it only because of Daniel Dae Kim and I also saw a great rating in IMDB. but got disappointed, for very similar reasons to yours.

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