Burlesque wants you to have a happy Thanksgiving

November 24, 2010 at 7:15 pm (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , , , , )

I can only assume that is why Hollywood put Cher (!!!!!) and Veronica Mars (!!!!) in the same (!!!!) movie(!!!!)!!!!

Oh, yeah, and Christina Aguilera is in it too.

So Burlesque looks like one of those Hollywood musicals that have enjoyed a bit of a resurgence lately, or else Showgirls with less nudity. The trailer‘s only two and a half minutes long. It’s hard to tell.

They do really, really want you to know it's called Burlesque, though.

But what I can tell is that:

Cher does not actually melt under all that lighting like you kind of expect she would do.

It's a plastic surgery joke. Yes, I'm lazy.

Stanley Tucci is in the movie for some reason, possibly because some Hollywood producer said, “We can’t make a movie and call it Burlesque and NOT put Stanley Tucci in it,” and then snorted some cocaine, I don’t know.

"I can't believe she's not melting either."

Christina Aguilera seems to be acting her little heart out, which goes about as well as you would expect, but it’s nice to see her trying. (Actually, she’s not as terrible as some singers who attempt acting, and I just *heart* all her little wigs.)

Totally cute wig.

Veronica Mars currently has yet to find a career trajectory that is consistent and awesome.

And, omigod, who put her in that dress, I hate them and I hate it.

There’s a lot of shimmying and sparkly costumes.

I don't even know who this is, but she seems to be enjoying her sparkly costume and the shimmying.

There’s some kind of romance storyline shoehorned in there, but who cares because of the aforementioned shimmying.

Eh, this picture looks kind of romantic or something.

And … that is all. Really, this movie looks like a big fluffy ball of fluffiness, and it has Cher and Veronica Mars, so I can’t hate it on principle. But I can forget it exists, and I assure you that I will do that as soon as this post is finished.



  1. Jamin said,

    hmmm, that dress Krisin Bell is wearing could actually be cute if she got rid of the jester neck frill thing.

    • lokifire said,

      Yeah, but she didn’t, so it’s not. Yuck. Ptooey. Awful dress.

      • Travis said,

        Maybe that collar was her attempt to get Christopher Nolan’s attention:
        “See, I’d make a totally awesome Harley Quinn… don’t you think?”

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