I want to see The Warrior’s Way so damn bad

December 1, 2010 at 12:48 pm (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , , )

So, right off the bat, you know The Warrior’s Way is gonna be awesome.

I mean, crap! Look at that tagline! This movie KNOWS how awesome it is.

‘Cause it starts with a duel between two men. And one of them is dragging is sword along the ground. He’s dragging it along the ground! The best sword fights always start with one guy dragging his sword along the ground! This will be awesome!

Then the narrator chimes in and says: “He was a legend. Born on the battlefield,” in this deep, meaningful voice, and all of a sudden, your brain is filled with visions of a baby with swords or a toddler swinging a mace.

Despite his propensity for bad hair and a stupid moustache, I think I love international superstar Dong-gun Jang a little bit.

But it gets better! My God, does it get better!

You’ve got ninja leaping out of everything! Water! Snow! The sky! I mean, blink, and you just missed 20 ninja leaping out of stuff! Oh my god so awesome!

And then! And then Dong-gun Jang doesn’t kill an innocent little baby and takes off all Lone Wolf and Cub style … to the West!

Ogami Itto? Ogami Daigoro? Is that you?

And that’s where the cowboys come in.

In a fight between cowboys and ninja, it's always the pretty ninja who wins.

Yeah, you heard me.

Motherloving cowboys.

The best bit is when Geoffrey Rush says: "Ninjas. Damn."

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4 Comments

  1. Jamin said,

    holy frak, that looks awesome! please tell me this is coming to theaters. and by that, i mean “theaters here in Billings.”

    • lokifire said,

      You’re in luck, Jamin! I only pick movies coming here, except for that time I bitched about Kick-Ass not coming here.
      But don’t call the newspaper to find out what movie times are, because Carmike doesn’t tell us anymore.

      • Jamin said,

        hey, considering that Kick-Ass was a piece of crap anyway, that’s not too bad 🙂
        (haven’t actually seen the movie, but after finally finishing the comics, i realized that although the concept was interesting, it was actually a very badly written, generally stupid story, and i heard the movie was even worse… unless you just find it interesting in terms of lotsa fighting and general ass-kickery)

      • lokifire said,

        Well, it was a Mark Millar title, so that kind of sums up everything that could go wrong with it right there.

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