The heavens rejoiced and a chorus of angels went “Ahhhhhhhh” because, you guys, I totally finally went to the movies for the first time in over a year this weekend!
And, yes, I saw The Warrior’s Way because what else was I going to see? Tron hasn’t opened yet!
So here’s my impressions, a.k.a. an actual movie review!
First off: I love Dong-Gun Jang a little. Especially when he’s wearing old-fashioned pinstriped pants, a trenchcoat and slaying his enemies with a sword. (Even if my friend I went to the movie with suffers from Asian-man blindness: he thought we were watching a Jackie Chan flick the whole time. “I wondered why he looked so good for his age,” he said.)
Secondly: The action scenes were exactly as awesome as I thought they would be, and some of them were, in fact, quite beautiful. I especially liked the way they would speed up some scenes to emphasize how fast our hero the master warrior was.
Thirdly: Holy cow, the baby in that film is totally the cutest baby ever. (“They probably grew it in a lab,” my friend said.)
Fourthly: I finally remembered who Kate Bosworth (the movie’s romantic interest/token fighter chick) is, and it is best explained via anecdote.
One day, at work, the telephone rang, and it was Margo Kidder on the line.
“This is Margo Kidder from Livingston,” she said.
“You mean Margo Kidder from Superman,” I corrected her.
Margo Kidder: “Yeah, sure, whatever.”
Me: “You’re Lois Lane! Superman’s girlfriend!”
Margo Kidder: “Er, yes.”
Me: “You were a much better Lois Lane than Kate Bosworth.” (I didn’t actually say it in bold, though, I just put it in bold so you guys would get that was the point of this anecdote.)
Margo Kidder: “That’s very sweet.”
Me: “And true!”
Margo Kidder: “Anyway, I was calling about this editorial your paper ran…”
Me: “So is it true you’ve gone completely wacko?”
Margo Kidder: “… Can I speak to your supervisor?”
(Note: portions of this conversation, mostly that last bit, were probably made up for dramatic purposes. Especially that last bit, ’cause I would never insult Lois Lane on the phone, unless it was the Kate Bosworth one. Then she deserves it, ’cause she sucked.)
Fiftly: There was, I thought, a lot of unnecessary exposition and dialogue. (“Less talkin’ and more stabbin’,” I said to my friend.)
Sixthly: They totally cut the “Ninjas. Damn.” line, so don’t go in expecting to see that part. ‘Cause you won’t.
My overall impression is that it was a good movie, but would’ve been better served by being watched at home so I could fast-forward past the boring, boring talking scenes and repeated the pretty, pretty fight scenes.