The movie I actually saw this weekend

December 6, 2010 at 12:04 pm (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , , , , , )

The heavens rejoiced and a chorus of angels went “Ahhhhhhhh” because, you guys, I totally finally went to the movies for the first time in over a year this weekend!

And, yes, I saw The Warrior’s Way because what else was I going to see? Tron hasn’t opened yet!

Look how conflicted he is about all the murderin' he's about to commit.

So here’s my impressions, a.k.a. an actual movie review!

First off: I love Dong-Gun Jang a little. Especially when he’s wearing old-fashioned pinstriped pants, a trenchcoat and slaying his enemies with a sword. (Even if my friend I went to the movie with suffers from Asian-man blindness: he thought we were watching a Jackie Chan flick the whole time. “I wondered why he looked so good for his age,” he said.)

I'm still not loving the moustache, but millions of Korean women can't be wrong. Or probably not.

Pictured here: A guy who doesn't look anything like Dong-Gun Jang. At all. Not even a little bit, really.

 Secondly: The action scenes were exactly as awesome as I thought they would be, and some of them were, in fact, quite beautiful. I especially liked the way they would speed up some scenes to emphasize how fast our hero the master warrior was.

Thirdly: Holy cow, the baby in that film is totally the cutest baby ever. (“They probably grew it in a lab,” my friend said.)

So cute, in fact, that I was tempted to give up my warrior's lifestyle for her myself.

Fourthly: I finally remembered who Kate Bosworth (the movie’s romantic interest/token fighter chick) is, and it is best explained via anecdote.

In one scene, they had her defeat one of the super ninja warriors, which was ridiculous and pissed me off.

One day, at work, the telephone rang, and it was Margo Kidder on the line.

“This is Margo Kidder from Livingston,” she said.

“You mean Margo Kidder from Superman,” I corrected her.

Margo Kidder: “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

Me: “You’re Lois Lane! Superman’s girlfriend!”

"And he took you flying that time? Remember?"

Margo Kidder: “Er, yes.”

Me: “You were a much better Lois Lane than Kate Bosworth.” (I didn’t actually say it in bold, though, I just put it in bold so you guys would get that was the point of this anecdote.)

Margo Kidder: “That’s very sweet.”

Me: “And true!”

Margo Kidder: “Anyway, I was calling about this editorial your paper ran…”

Me: “So is it true you’ve gone completely wacko?”

Margo Kidder: “… Can I speak to your supervisor?”

Me: “No.”

(Note: portions of this conversation, mostly that last bit, were probably made up for dramatic purposes. Especially that last bit, ’cause I would never insult Lois Lane on the phone, unless it was the Kate Bosworth one. Then she deserves it, ’cause she sucked.)

Fiftly: There was, I thought, a lot of unnecessary exposition and dialogue. (“Less talkin’ and more stabbin’,” I said to my friend.)

Sixthly: They totally cut the “Ninjas. Damn.” line, so don’t go in expecting to see that part. ‘Cause you won’t.

"Man, that's more ninja than I ever expected to see in the Old West, Tex." "You got that right, Slim."

My overall impression is that it was a good movie, but would’ve been better served by being watched at home so I could fast-forward past the boring, boring talking scenes and repeated the pretty, pretty fight scenes.

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2 Comments

  1. Travis said,

    Meh, I never cared for Kidder as Lois even when I was a little boy. Though she was better than Bosworth that’s for sure.

    I remember watching SUPERMAN when I was a kid and thinking “Why would he want to be with her?”

    And not in the little kid “Ewww girls!” kinda way, because I was not like that. I just found her version of Lois kinda… gross. Maybe it was the smoking? Which I’ve never been a big fan of.

    • lokifire said,

      See, she always gave me hope, because she was kind of average and even a bit bitchy and Superman still liked her!
      Plus, I always thought Margo Kidder was funny.

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