But Red Riding Hood doesn’t look horrible.
It’s got beautiful visuals, with the red cloak standing out neatly against the white snow, and this one scene where the fog goes rolling over the ground all eerie and elegant, and then it’s got Amanda Seyfried, who is the most beautiful visual of all.
AND MY GOD DID I MENTION IT’S GOT GARY OLDMAN?
Gary Oldman as a werewolf hunter!
I can get behind that! In fact, I am pretty certain that Gary Oldman, when not acting the socks off his coworkers, does hunt werewolves and other creatures of the night because he is Gary Oldman, dammit, and what else is he going to do with his spare time? (Other than your girlfriend, badoom-BOOM.)
In fact, the pretty, pretty trailer completely convinced me to ignore the part at the beginning where it said “From the Director of Twilight” and groove along to the cheesy rock song because there are going to be brutal slayings and fires and whooooooo! This movie is going to be so good, I am sure of it!
But now that the adrenaline has worn off it occurs to me that there’s two different guys showing interest in Amanda Seyfried’s character, which means: IT’S A LOVE TRIANGLE OH GOD IT’S A ROMANCE IN DISGUISE YOU NEARLY FOOLED ME.