Dear James Marsden,
You are so talented and cute and funny, and you make me so sad. Why do you make me so sad?
Let’s look at your resume, shall we?
X-Men: The Last Stand?
I mean, sure, there’s some winners in there, like X-Men and X2 and Enchanted, but then you do a voice part in Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore?
(Why is this post mostly questions?)
James Marsden, what I am saying, sir, is this: Please stop starring in movies like Hop, which is a Russell Brand vehicle for some reason, because someone apparently wants that stringy-haired Brit to be famous. More famous? (Like, Arthur? What the hell is up with that?)
(Why can’t I stop phrasing things in the form of questions today? Am I channeling Alex Trebek?)
To continue, James Marsden, I implore you to be in films that are worthy of 1) your looks; 2) your comedic timing; 3) your looks again; 4) your acting ability; and 5) definitely your looks some more.
I’m trying to think of some good suggestions right now, but nothing is coming to me.
Just not the new Wonder Woman television series, OK?
Thanks for your consideration.
(Oh, and in case you were wondering, I’m not seeing Hop.)