The sequels I won’t be seeing this weekend

May 27, 2011 at 5:56 pm (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , , , )

So there’s a The Hangover 2 and a Kung Fu Panda 2.

The Hangover Part II has a monkey in it. I hate monkeys. Almost as much as I hate dolphins. And I hate dolphins about equally as much as I hate Jack Black.

Which is great news, I guess, for people who have anterograde amnesia and can’t make new memories, so they completely forgot they already watched the first films, just like they will completely forget they’re watching the sequels, but they have approximately 10 bucks they really want to waste.

Or a murdered wife they want to avenge by killing ... I don't know ... the usher.

I have nothing against the original films, except, of course, for the presence of Jack Black in anything, but I don’t understand why there are sequels to the damned things.

Jack Black is worse than dolphins.

Oh, except for the Hollywood wanting to make money without exerting much effort thing. Right.

The last hard thing we did was put up this sign. We're still tired. Stop complaining.

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6 Comments

  1. Jamin said,

    High five for all the monkey, dolphin, and Jack Black haters in the room!

    • lokifire said,

      I know! Who doesn’t hate those three things, right?

  2. greg said,

    I don’t know if you listen to any podcasts, but the Nerdist had Patton Oswalt on recently, and they talk a lot about how movies get made in Hollywood. Just, y’know, if you wanted more excuses to hate Hollywood. (Also, it’s pretty funny and entertaining.)

    • lokifire said,

      I can always use more excuses to hate Hollywood.

  3. Stan Hai said,

    If you were suffering from anterograde amnesia, how would you know? You could only learn about your condition after it began, and then you’d immediately forget you had it. Maybe Guy Pierce’s character had “YOU HAVE ANTEROGRADE AMNESIA” tattooed somewhere on his body.

  4. JanieD said,

    Guy Pearce is hot, IMO.

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