I want to want to see Green Lantern

June 17, 2011 at 3:05 pm (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, )

I mean, c’mon, it’s got so many things going for it: Ryan Reynolds, lots of green stuff, a mostly naked Ryan Reynolds, decent effects, Ryan Reynolds being all serious, a genuine threat to the earth, and more Ryan Reynolds.

Hey, you know who stars in the new Green Lantern movie? It's Ryan Reynolds!

(Really, I think Ryan Reynolds is a big selling point.)

You had me at "unbuttoned shirt."

So I want to want to watch Green Lantern, I do. I mean, I kind of want to want to. But it’s, you know, Green Lantern. I always mix him up with Green Arrow, you know? Not so much because they have anything in common besides the word Green in their supermoniker, but who are they?

(Note: I actually know who they both are, thanks, I work in a comic book store.)

*sigh* Fine. Green Lantern has a magical ring and has been, like, 12 different people.Green Arrow has no superpowers, except for pretty good aim. Now don't e-mail me.

Not to mention (except for the part where I’m about to mention), that’s a lot of mythology to fit into one movie. I mean, sure they had to shove in Superman’s origins and Spiderman’s origins when those movies got made, but you know what? Alien comes to earth from dying planets, has superpowers; boy gets bitten by radioactive spider, gets superpowers are both easier to follow than pilot gets chosen by aliens to join an intergalactic police force using green lanterns and magic rings and also the color yellow is their weakness and the only limit to your power is the limit of your imagination!

Speaking of aliens, I just can't relate to this guy. For some reason.

So, yeah, I want to (kind of, I mean) want to see Green Lantern, but really, I mostly don’t.

Unless the squirrel is in it.

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7 Comments

  1. dangerousmeredith said,

    I think I would need the squirrel too, despite the fact that Ryan’s tummy is glorious

    • lokifire said,

      Oooh, maybe there should be a bit where the Green Lantern squirrel runs across his tummy! Something for everyone!

  2. greg said,

    I’m not a Green Lantern fan, but I did want to see this movie…. Until I read the reviews. All the terrible, horrible reviews. Oh man…

    • lokifire said,

      They’re probably just mad because the squirrel’s not in it.

  3. Natalie said,

    Even the squirrel can’t persuade me. He’s Berg (Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place)! He’s a doofus not a superhero! Wasn’t Toby Maguire a big enough weiner that Hollywood would learn we want our heroes to be MEN?

    • lokifire said,

      I don’t know — I think he’s hot. Of course, I’ve never seen the show to which you refer, so I wasn’t ruined for him, I guess.

  4. Travis Bierwagen said,

    I wanted to see it. But the MORE I hear, the less I want to spend my money on it. It looks like they tried to “Tony Stark” Hal Jordan… and that’s just wrong.

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