A love letter to Sherlock Holmes

October 3, 2011 at 11:01 am (I Propose to Fictional Characters) (, , , , )

Dear Sherlock Holmes,

Everyone knows I’ve loved you for a long time. I am the only person I know that read your biography. (That is, an actual biography of Sherlock Holmes, not Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.) But my feelings have always been more about obsessing and less about, you know, lust.

I was always impressed by the way you solved crimes whilst riding in trains.

But thanks to the BBC (God bless the Queen!), that’s all changed.

(As an aside, to my readers who don’t share my Sherlock Holmes obsession, I apologize for the recent spate of posts about Sherlock and can only assure you that more will follow.)

Yes, thanks to the BBC, I love you in the way a woman loves a man. Or, more specifically, the way a fangirl loves a character as portrayed by the brilliant Benedict Cumberbatch. (Let me assure you, Sherlock, fangirls got a whole lotta love in them.)

And especially for Benedict Cumberbatch here, who has a fan group called the "Cumberbitches," which is actually quite clever, I think.

I love the way you investigate crime! I love the way you shoot your apartment wall when you’re bored! I love the way you keep severed heads in your refrigerator and won’t ever get the groceries! I love the way you play the violin instead of interacting with your older brother! I love the way you’re mean to that poor morgue worker who has a crush on you!

That's the look of someone who doesn't care if he's broken the poor morgue girl's heart or not. I love that look.

In short, Sherlock Holmes, I love your misanthropic sociopathical nature.

And your killer cheekbones and stunning grey eyes.

In shorter, Sherlock Holmes, I love you.

I just threw this picture in because I enjoy looking at Benedict Cumberbatch.

(Also Benedict Cumberbatch a bit, because there is no possible way he is a worse human being than you, unless he tortures puppies.)

Oh my god, I see it now, he is totally Spike Spiegel in the flesh, no wonder I love him, SQUEEEEEEE!

I know you’re not interested in women (or men, or fluffy kittens), but if anything ever happens to Watson, please consider ringing me up. I would so help you avenge his death, you don’t even know.

"Your killers will pay, John Watson!" is what I would say.

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11 Comments

  1. jennibennyfan said,

    I would like to say, dear lokifire, you are not alone! Be assured, I totally understand you. 😀
    And I’d like to add: Dear Sherlock, I love the way you interact with Anderson and please, please, PLEASE, do wear the jeans from the pilot more often!!! *blush* The whole feminine world will thank you. ^^

    • lokifire said,

      Heh.
      It’s nice to be socially maladjusted together!

      • jennibennyfan said,

        Haha. Yes. If you know a well working therapy, let me know. ;D
        But John’s therapist says he should write a blog, so maybe we are curing ourselfs right now. (hm, by the way, I’m not quite sure, if I wanna be cured from my Sherlock-virus) ^^
        And finally, only death fishes swim with the current. 🙂

  2. jennibennyfan said,

    *squeee* Found an artwork on which Sherlock looks like Spike indeed! (Take a look on my blog ^^)

  3. cherryandcinnamon said,

    I love this blog. It keeps making me laugh! I’m be back to see what you are ranting about next! x

    • lokifire said,

      Yea! Making people laugh and destroying others in the pursuit of my revenge are my two life goals!

  4. Aiden Jacobson from esavfude said,

    respected actor christopher lee, who also played sherlock holmes in one of his many incarnations, appears to give introductions to the show.

  5. anna said,

    Love this article you are not alone I love benedict to!!!:)

  6. dolapo said,

    this is just perfecth

  7. jamy said,

    Me toooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! But have you heard he denies that he’s hot!

  8. There’s a new James Bond film already | Hollywood Hates Me said,

    […] cute than last time, and a helicopter flies upside down, and … I’m sorry, I know that I love British things, but I just don’t care about James […]

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