Sherlock Holmes vs. Sheldon Cooper

November 23, 2011 at 11:14 am (Fictional Character Battles) (, , , , , , )

At the request of the lovely jennibennyfan, I now present this fictional character battle between Sherlock Holmes, the best fictional detective EVAH and Sheldon Cooper, a guy on a show I have never watched.

Oooh, I sure hope she picks me.

Prepare for the lopsidedness!

Physicality. Sherlock Holmes and Sheldon Cooper are both tall and thin. However, Benedict Cumberbatch is ever so attractive. Winner? Sherlock Holmes.

Plus he’s got these eyes and it’s like wow, you know?

Is on a sitcom? Sheldon Cooper is a character on the Big Bang Theory, which is a sitcom! Sherlock Holmes is not currently on a sitcom, although who knows what the future may hold. Winner? Sheldon Cooper.

He is, apparently, the breakout character, so congratulations to you, Jim Parsons!

Has a girlfriend? You know who doesn’t have a girlfriend, Guy Ritchie? Sherlock Holmes doesn’t, hasn’t and NEVER WILL. Sheldon Cooper is, I guess, kind of dating Blossom maybe, but I don’t know. Still, that’s closer than never dating Irene Adler, you stupidheads. Winner? Sheldon Cooper.

Suffers from a mental illness? Sherlock Holmes and Sheldon Cooper both display slightly autistic/OCD/sociopathic traits. So, yeah, they probably both mad as hatters. Winners? It’s a tie.

Here, Sherlock Holmes makes with the crazy eyes.

Is the best fictional detective of our, or any, generation? As I previously mentioned, Sherlock Holmes is the best fictional detective EVAH! Sheldon Cooper is some kind of genius scientist. Even if he turned to solving crimes, Sherlock Holmes is my favorite forever. Winner? Sherlock Holmes.

Has a undying bond of loyalty with one special person? Sheldon Cooper’s best friend is Darlene’s boyfriend from Roseanne. (As an aside, I was so relieved when I figured that out, because I kept seeing ads for Big Bang Theory and being all I know I recognize the curly-haired guy, but who is he? Oh, right, it’s whatsisname! Yeah, good ol’ whatsisname.) They are roommates who share a (decidedly small) circle of friends. You know who else is roommates? Sherlock Holmes and his bestie John Watson is roommates. They don’t share a circle of friends, because Sherlock Holmes only needs one friend and that is Watson. If he would ever like a second friend, I would like to put in a nomination for it to be me. I wouldn’t bring much to the table, except for food. Which two struggling bachelors would need. Call me, guys! Winner? Sherlock Holmes.

Awwwwwwwww.

Fights evil on a regular basis? If Sherlock Holmes wasn’t busy fighting evil, he would probably be evil. So I guess fictional London can be grateful for that. Sheldon Cooper is a genius scientist, who maybe fights evil electrons, but I’m not sure there really is such a thing. Also, he stalked Stan Lee. That’s just awful. Winner? Sherlock Holmes.

Fights evil, considers taking poison. Whichever.

Has a weakness for his mum? I say mum to make it sound more British, but really, Sherlock Holmes hardly ever mentions his family, except for Mycroft, and only when he absolutely has to. So if he’s close with his mother, nobody knows it. On the other hand, Sheldon’s mother has been described as his Kryptonite. Which makes it sound like she is totally his weakness, don’t you think? Winner? Sheldon Cooper.

Has a deadly adversary? Sheldon Cooper has a long list of enemies, much like myself, but no one’s actively tried to murderize him yet, so … he’s cool, I guess. Sherlock Holmes has made enemies of most of fictional London’s fictional evildoers, including Moriarty and that guy with great aim, whose name escapes me right now. Anyway, people are always trying to kill the hell out of Sherlock Holmes. But never succeeding because he is the best. Winner? Sherlock Holmes.

Better fashion sense? Sheldon Cooper dresses like a wanker. There. I said it. Sherlock Holmes, on the BBC’s Sherlock, dresses quite snazzily and I wish he would come give clothing lessons to all the men I know. Winner? Sherlock Holmes.

Hey, Sheldon Cooper, you know who looks good in a Flash tee-shirt? No one. Not even the Flash.

This has gone on longer than I expected. I hope you’re happy, jennibennyfan.

Overall winner? In a completely unsurprising non-upset, Sherlock Holmes takes yet another fictional character battle.

I’m not sure even Elijah Snow could defeat him.

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46 Comments

  1. jennibennyfan said,

    Aww. Thank you! I never thought you would do this in fact. I hope it wasn’t that annoying for you. πŸ˜€ Now, I owe you a favour. πŸ˜‰ Did I say thank you already?
    By the way, have you noticed that DVD release of Sherlock season 2 is March, the 5th? (you can already pre-order on amazon.co.uk)
    Thank you very much. πŸ˜‰

    • lokifire said,

      No, no, I appreciate the recommendation. Sometimes I have trouble thinking of fictional characters for battlin’!

  2. Maike Amethyst said,

    AWWW how sweet! (I really liked the S+W candy/plastic guys, they look like standing on a wedding cake, actually *hot*)
    Well, I made Sherlock Holmes gingerbread…

    • lokifire said,

      I assume for display purposes only, because who could eat Sherlock Holmes???

  3. Jamin said,

    Hmmm… what if Elijah Snow and Sam Axe had a baby… scratch that… let’s just say they somehow got merged into a single entity. Do you think he’d stand a chance against Benelock Cumberholmes?

    Great battle, btw, even if the outcome was obvious from the outset πŸ™‚

    • lokifire said,

      Great, now all I can think about is Elijah Snow and Sam Axe getting busy.
      Thanks so much for that.

      • Jamin said,

        You’re welcome πŸ˜‰

  4. cherryandcinnamon said,

    Good greif! (Said in my best charlie brown voice). Your obsession with the cumberbatch knows no bounds!

    • lokifire said,

      Yeah, it is starting to border on a mental illness, isn’t it?

  5. Travis Bierwagen said,

    Ugh, I can’t stand THE BIG BANG THEORY. I thought it would be much to my liking… but it just pisses me off.

    How to write a BBT script: Have a character say the name of a comic book/sci-fi character and CRANK up the laugh track. Ta-Da!

    • lokifire said,

      Got it. Just use a conversation with my parents, then, is what you’re saying.
      (I do the comic book/sci-fi character naming, they do the laughter.)
      (They’re so mean!)

    • Jamin said,

      That was pretty much my take on BBT also. Everyone kept telling me i’d love that show, and once i watched it i felt rather insulted–both by the people who thought it’d be up my alley, and by the show’s creators. I mean, there are things about the show i do like, but overall it’s just revolting.

      • greg said,

        My sister thinks I should love that show, but really…no. I relate to no one there. Turns out there are a lot of comics people who dislike the show, too.

  6. cherryandcinnamon said,

    I thought i was the only one who didn’t like the BBT. I figured it was too easy to make fun out of Geeks science/comics or otherwise. Friends kept telling me I’d love it too. Have to admit to a guilty secret though, in a fit of boredom I started watching it over from stratch during the summer. Hate to say it, but it kinda grows on you….. *^_^*

  7. Travis Bierwagen said,

    • lokifire said,

      God bless you for that.

  8. Chelsea Taylor said,

    hehe this is funny

  9. Sarah Naismith said,

    hmmm I dont think the battle is on I’m afraid : I think sheldon is a modern day Sherlock: case closed watson :p

    • lokifire said,

      Could be that he is. But original flavor Sherlock Holmes is, and always will be, the very best one.

  10. Mathew said,

    I like both shows but Sherlock is overall better.
    btw the awesome aim guy i Colonel Sebastian Moran.
    ( come on know your classics)

    • lokifire said,

      Tell you what, I’ll learn my classics as soon as you learn how to spell “is.”

  11. Tierney said,

    Right first things first, back of BBT, it’s amazing! Now that is sorted, if you are struggling for battles why not try Yugi and Yami? Or you could try Will Weeton and Sheldon from BBT. Please do not complain as it is an awesome show!!! πŸ™‚

    • lokifire said,

      Who are Yugi and Yami?

  12. Anna said,

    This is crazy biased. You never even saw the Big Bang Theory!

    • lokifire said,

      You’re smart!

      • Oracle said,

        I completely agree with Anna. Also, Sherlock Holmes from the show “Sherlock” is not even similar to the real Sherlock Holmes created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. You are a disgrace to Holmes, and Sheldon as well. You do not deserve to write about them. Please never do another one of these terrible things ever again. Thank you.
        ~Oracle

      • lokifire said,

        What are you on about? Are you mixing up the Sherlock Holmes from Elementary with the Holmes from Sherlock? He’s immensely similar to the original incarnation of the famous detective, and one of the most entertaining versions I’ve come across.
        And how can I be a disgrace to a fictional character? What do you even mean by that?
        Also, I’ve done TONS of those terrible things again (just click on Fictional Character Battles and see), so ha ha ha, in your damn face, Oracle!

    • Blice said,

      I believe Oracle was just talking about the differences in appearance, as you seemed to judge Holmes primarily on his actor being “dreamy”. Not trying to be rude…just trying to help out.

      • lokifire said,

        Well, you’re not rude, but you’re incorrect.
        Sure, Benedict Cumberbatch is a beautiful creature, but he’s also a really great Holmes.

    • Oracle said,

      …The series is vastly different. Watson was in Afghanistan for bunny rabbit’s sake!

      (edited for use of f-bombs)

      • Oracle said,

        Further more, Holmes and Watson certainly never acted as roomates! Also, Sheldon has not yet technically been in an official relationship with Amy Fara Fowler, whilst Holmes did DATE Irene Adler in the short story “A Scandal in Bohemia” behind Watson’s back. And about the huge bond to Watson, in the original stories, Watson repeatedly mentions that he HATES Holmes and that he wishes that he didn’t drag him into his cases. Also, Sheldon did mention a tale of a bully putting staples in his forehead during childhood, so technically he has had a deadly adversary. And plus, Kripke ruined his entire life, which I’m pretty sure counts for something. Oh, and Moriarity appeared in ONE Sherlock Holmes story before dying at the end quite easily! Not much of a nemesis if he is not a challenge. And look at some of these things, “Is on a sitcom”?!? How would that effect anything in a battle, where, since they are both already fictional, that would not even come to be!

      • lokifire said,

        Oracle, I know you feel like an expert, having read “almost all” the Sherlock Holmes books, but please re-read “A Scandal in Bohemia.” Not only did Holmes never date Irene Adler, he didn’t even have feelings for her, except those of admiration.
        … Also: ARE YOU READING BAD TRANSLATIONS OR SOMETHING? Watson NEVER says he hates Holmes. He loves the excitement of being “dragged” into the cases.
        So, um: BAMM, I guess.

  13. jennibennyfan said,

    BAMM! Lokifire has spoken! πŸ˜€

    • lokifire said,

      Damn straight I did! πŸ™‚

    • Oracle said,

      BAMM! A person who has actually seen both shows and read almost all of the Sherlock Holmes books has spoken! πŸ˜€

      • jennibennyfan said,

        I have seen both shows as well and I have read all of the Sherlock Holmes novels. And I stay at my point of view: lokifire did a great job with this fictional character battle. But in order to calm down we should agree that there are different points of view and every Sherlock-interpretation is different and every fan interprets it in a different way. πŸ™‚

      • lokifire said,

        You’re so nice, jennibennyfan.
        Not me, though. Not nice at all.

  14. JustMe said,

    Sherlock doesn’t look good at all…
    And I’m sorry but this “battle” is the worst text I’ve ever read. You write about a character you don’t even know…
    If I wrote this Sheldon would definitly win. So you can see… it doesn’t make sence at all … please don’t write such texts again.

    • lokifire said,

      Then why don’t you write your own battle that does make sense? I mean, you know how the Internet works, right? Unless it’s just easier to make stupid comments on someone else’s work?
      Also, thanks to me, you now know how to spell “sense,” so you can do that too.

  15. Justin Novelli said,

    How can you write a comparative blog article without having watched one of the two things you’re comparing? The concept is ridiculous. If you wanted to write a comparison about two shows, then do your research and watch them both…

    • lokifire said,

      Because a nice reader asked me to, DUH.
      I mean, I state it right out in the first sentence and everything.

  16. Mat said,

    If we’re talking about the tv show for Sherlock he did get a girlfriend at one point (to break into magnessuns office) but he never had one in the books

    • lokifire said,

      If we’re talking about the fiction, he got ENGAGED to a woman to get closer to the blackmailer, but that doesn’t count either. Fake girlfriends don’t count. Single Sherlock FOREVAH!!!

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