A love letter to Dr. John Watson

February 16, 2012 at 12:53 pm (I Propose to Fictional Characters) (, , , )

Dear Dr. John Hamish Watson,

I have various and sundry reasons for loving you, not the least of which is because you are Sherlock Holmes’ best friend, and Sherlock Holmes is a god among fictional characters, making you, like, the Jesus of fictional characters or something. (The analogy kind of ran away with me there.) Also, you’re loyal, good with a gun, apparently irresistible to women and on occasion you look like Martin Freeman or Jude Law.

Who's a sexy little hobbit, eh?

Mmmm, dashing!

In addition to that, you’d satisfy my mother’s desire that, since it appears I won’t be making a success of myself, I marry a doctor, while at the same time annoying my mother because, really, you’re not that successful of a doctor, plus you’re always off gallivanting around with that consulting detective fellow.

"Gallivanting? Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?" -- My Mom

In any case (heh, case), I’d like you to consider my proposal seriously, for these reasons:

1) I promise not to be jealous of the time you spend with your best buddy Sherlock Holmes as long as you promise to get me his autograph;

2) Or maybe, instead of his autograph, we could all three hang out? That would be nice;

3) Or if you’ve got something else to do, I’m amenable to solving crimes with the man while you’re busy;

4) And if that’s not cool, then could you just pretend not to notice when I follow you guys around London?

And 5) and most importantly: I will never, never write any slash fiction about you and Sherlock Holmes. I promise that so hard, Dr. John Watson, you just don’t even know.

Honest, Dr. John Watson, I feel a little guilty even using this image here.

Please consider me as a candidate for your second or fifth or whatever bride, Dr. John Watson. I do love you. Really. Just not quite as much as Sherlock Holmes.

He'll always love you more than I ever could. Also, could you give me his number?

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