So was Buck the son or the dog?

April 17, 2012 at 2:29 pm (Whatever happened to ...?) (, )

The other day, for some inexplicable reason, I began thinking about the Bundy family and how successful they are today. Al’s got Modern Family. Kelly’s got Up All Night. Peg’s got Sons of Anarchy and Futurama, making her the awesomest person evah, and Buck (or was that Bud?)’s got ….

... the best stepdaddy ever?

Wait, what the hell does he got?

(Also, what the hell is that actor’s name?)

So I decided to apply a little Google-fu to the situation and get to the bottom of the mystery. Or whatever.

First off: Yes, Buck was the dog. The son was “Bud,” so you see how I might be confused. Secondly, the actor’s name is David Faustino and he is really only 5’3″. Actually, I suspect he might be smaller than that, because who doesn’t lie on IMDb? (Although I suppose he could be taller, and just wants to come across as nonthreatening?)

Anyway, David Faustino’s career began at the ripe old age of 3 months old, when he appeared on the Lily Tomlin Special. He decided to shelve his acting career until he reached 5 or 6, when he played Joey in the TV movie Act of Love. That title couldn’t begin to make me care less. He followed that up with a role as Josh on Little House on the Prairie, and then decided to switch things up a little bit by playing Bobby Hofstedter (a boy with a last name!) on And They All Lived Happily Ever After, another TV movie.

Awwww! He's freakin' adorable!

Anyway, blah blah blah, a bunch more guest shots throughout the ’80s (including spots on Scarecrow and Mrs. King and Highway to Heaven, two shows which totally represent the ’80s to me) until finally, he landed the role of Bud Bundy on Married with Children. A thing I didn’t know was that he also tried to be a rap star and that it was parodied on Married with Children, because the only thing I really remember about that show is that Al always put his hand down his pants when he sat on the couch. That and Peg’s bouffant.

And Kelly was slutty or something, right?

So, anyway, while Married with Children ran for 11 seasons (from 1987 to 1997), Faustino supplemented his income with guest roles on various other TV shows (often as Bud Bundy, oddly enough) and a voice role on Adventures of the Gummi Bears!

Does anybody else feel guilty eating them knowing that they had adventures?

He also appeared on CBS Schoolbreak Special, which is exactly as after-school specially as it sounds. Exactly as. He made two separate appearances on the show, once in 1986 and again in 1992, when you’d’ve thunk he’d have better things to do with his time, but maybe they had some dirt on him or something? I mean, who knows what the 12-year-old Faustino was getting up to in ’86, you know?

After Married with Children went to that great big television in the sky, Faustino moved on to a career in the movies. And by “a career,” I mean he had a role in something called Lovers and Liars, in which the main female character is named Caitland, because why not spell it that way? Always resilient, he went on to play “Cornfed” in 12 Bucks, a movie “starring” a bunch of people you’ve never heard of, unless you’re their mother or their agent.

Title or box office take?

Seeing that the big screen wasn’t all he was hoping for (or maybe he really did enjoy roles as someone named “Cornfed”?), Faustino returned to guest spots on television, including roles on Unhappily Ever After and The New Addams Family, a thing that I didn’t know existed until now, and kind of wish I could continue on blissfully ignorant.

But because I have to know, you have to know too.

In 2000, Faustino had a voice role on Batman Beyond, which I only mention because I’ve heard it was a pretty good cartoon, and also he appeared on Nash Bridges, which I’ve heard of, but can’t remember why.

From 2000 to 2001, he played “Older Chance” and “Narrator” on Cover Me: Based on the True Life of an FBI family, which I hope was about a family of spies like Spy Kids, but doesn’t seem very likely.

In 2001, he was in Killer Bud, which at first led me to believe it was the continued adventures of Bud Bundy, having become a homicidal maniac, but is actually a pot comedy. I’m sorry, I meant to put “comedy” in quotation marks, so you would know that it probably wasn’t actually funny at all.

While doing an image search for Killer Bud, Killer Bunny popped up instead, so please enjoy this screen shot from The Holy Grail.

A guest spot on the X-Files was the highlight of 2002, but it was one of the Mulder-less episodes, so nobody watched it probably. Notable roles in 2003 were a voice bit in the cartoon Static Shock. Actually, that’s it for 2003, so hopefully Faustino had a lot of hobbies to fall back on, or a house in need of renovation or something.

It sucks to be a superhero and all the good names are already taken.

He’s actually been in a lot of stuff since 2003, but I don’t really care about any of it and I’m too lazy to mention them all by name, so here’s some quick samples: 2008’s Boston Strangler: The Untold Story (as Albert DeSalvo, the confessed strangler himself); in 2009, a TV series call Star-ving (for some reason); 2010’s Not Another B Movie, which seems like it came out longer ago than that, unless I’m confusing it with Scary Movie or something; and a voice role in Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated, another thing I didn’t know existed.

Most recently, he’s been on Clunkers, Working Class and has a voice role in The Legend of Korra, which I think is an Airbender spin-off, but please, feel free not to correct me if I’m wrong, because I don’t care that much.

Additional things to know about Faustino is that he’s divorced, was arrested for misdemeanor possession of marijuana and also that he owns a night club in LA called Balistyx. Coincidentally enough, that’s the same name as his rap album, which makes me glad I’ve never heard it.

I'm ... not sure if this is the album artwork or an ad for the nightclub.

So there you go: David Faustino’s career in a nutshell. For those of you that skipped ahead, to reiterate, yes, Buck was the dog. David Faustino was Bud.

And his hair used to be like this.

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