So, this weekend, another Nicholas Sparks adaptation opens, The Lucky One, which makes me wonder 1) exactly how many novels Nicholas Sparks has written; 2) are they all going to get made into movies; 3) dear God, why?
Anyhow, The Lucky One is the story of Zac Efron finding a photograph of a woman while he’s off being a soldier and somehow it saves him from getting all blowed up or something, and so he decides to track her down. This makes me wonder 1) what happened to the person who was carrying her photo; 2) did they manage to find a woman shorter than Zac Efron or does she have to stand in a hole for most of the movie; 3) am I supposed to believe Zac Efron is grownup or something?
Then, of course, because this is a Nicholas Sparks novel, he does find the woman, they do fall in love and he says something like “I think you should be kissed every hour on the hour, like some kind of sexy grandfather clock. With tongue,” and then the narrator proclaims it’s the perfect date movie!, which makes me wonder 1) fecking really?; 2) do I know anyone who would think this would be the perfect movie to take me on a date to?; 3) how can I get that person out of my life quickly and forever?
Anyway, I’m sure it all ends it tragedy, because I’ve heard Nicholas Sparks joints do that, so there you go. The Lucky One.