A love letter to Michael Fassbender’s character in anything

June 11, 2012 at 3:03 pm (I Propose to Fictional Characters) ()

Dear Michael Fassbender’s character in anything,

I love you. I love you because you look like Michael Fassbender, sound like Michael Fassbender and, if Smell-o-Vision comes into existence someday, you also smell like Michael Fassbender.

Mmmmm, smells like success.

(Note to inventors: Please, please, please don’t invent Smell-O-Vision.)

For instance, Michael Fassbender’s character in Shame: I love you for your sex addiction, because you are a guy who looks like Michael Fassbender who has a sex addiction.

Could be worse, friend. You could be a guy with a sex addiction who doesn’t look like Michael Fassbender.

For another instance, Michael Fassbender’s character in X-Men: First Class: I love you for your young Magneto-ness, which includes the ability to annoy me less than James McAvoy by looking and acting like Michael Fassbender.

I totally have a turtleneck fetish now.
Kind of sad, really.

And for the most recent instance, Michael Fassbender’s character in Prometheus: I love you because you’re an android that someone designed to look like Michael Fassbender because of course they would do that who wouldn’t?

“So, you guys wanna make an android?”
“Yeah!”
“Who should we design it to look like?”
“Uh, Michael Fassbender?”
“Brilliant!”

So, Michael Fassbender’s character in anything: I love you. Let’s all get married.

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