A love letter to Big Brother

September 27, 2012 at 9:52 am (I Propose to Fictional Characters) (, , )

Dear Big Brother,

In the book, it says you have a mustache, but in the posters, you don’t have a mustache, and I’m OK with that because doublethink will resolve all logical fallacies and other inconsistencies, may The Party rule forever!

I am filled with so many things right now: Love (but not the passionate kind, because passion is wrong and Ingsoc is good). Obedience. That deli-meat sandwich I ate at lunch.

Oh, God, I hope eating a deli sandwich doesn’t piss off Big Brother.

But mostly, Big Brother, complete adoration of you, your principles, everything you stand for and all that is good and holy in the world. Except for the holy part, because I’m pretty sure you’ve abolished religion. But that’s OK, because I love you for that.

I. Love. Big. Brother.

War is Peace! (Not War and Peace)

We have always been at war with Eurasia.
Or Eastasia.
Or whatever.

Freedom is Slavery!

Ignorance is Strength!

Big Brother shall never die! Big Brother is Watching You! (To prove my love, I’m not watching Big Brother.) (Haaah, I’m just kidding. I wouldn’t do that anyway.)

I love Big Brother!

Oh, ha ha, look! An Obama joke!
I’ll bet there really are people who think this is clever, and that makes me sad.

I’m not even sure if any of these words are supposed to exist anymore, what with Newspeak and all, but I certainly hope they are enough to convey the depth of my devotion to you, Big Brother, and all the principles of Ingsoc and that please please please don’t send me to Room 101.

Yup. No need to torture the thoughtcrime out of me! I already love Big Brother!


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