My perfect Christmas present isn’t a bracelet at all

November 27, 2012 at 12:10 pm (Randomosity) (, )

So there’s this Christmas commercial airing for some jewelry company, and the dad has the son dress up as Santa and give the mom a box and inside is the godawful ugly bracelet. The mom looks at it and sighs, “Ohhhh, Santa,” like, if the kid was any older, he would be so squicked out because his parents are totally getting laid tonight, but luckily, he just grabs a plate of cookies and wanders off merrily, thoughts of parental fornication completely absent from his innocent head.

Run, kid! It looks like Mom and Dad are about to get busy under the Christmas tree!

And every time I see that ad, I think: “Do women really react like that to godawful ugly bracelets?”

Also: Are there actually women who find these bracelets neither godawful nor ugly?

And then I think: “Wait, I guess if someone bought me a box set of the Evil Dead trilogy for Christmas, I would totally sigh ‘Ohhhh, Santa,’ and then we’d probably have sex, except they’d have to wait until after we watched the movies.”

“Because I don’t care how good the sex is, nothing is better than watching Bruce Campbell fight zombies.”




  1. brikhaus said,

    LOL! Great post. If only the Evil Dead movies got my wife in the mood.

    • lokifire said,

      You mean they DON’T?

      • brikhaus said,

        No, she only gets in the mood watching Lord of the Rings.

      • lokifire said,

        Really? There’s too damn many hobbits in it for me to get excited, and none of the hobbits are Watson, so it’s doubly bad.

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