Playing for Keeps: Even Gerard Butler’s hair can’t save it

December 7, 2012 at 12:25 pm (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , , )

I really want Gerard Butler to be in good movies. He looks like he should be in good movies. He’s got that face and those arms and that accent …. (He’s got an accent, right?)

"Does it matter?"

“Does it matter?”

But he insists on, you know, not, and so we’ve got the rom-com Playing for Keeps, which looks just truly horribly wretched, and also begs the question How have these women heard of a soccer player, anyway? I mean, is this movie set in Europe or something? But it can’t be, because it calls “football” “soccer,” which only Americans call it. So why do these women know who this soccer player is?

Because they're ACTUAL soccer moms, I guess?

Because they’re ACTUAL soccer moms, I guess?

(Quick — if you’re one of my American readers, name an American soccer player. Not Mia Hamm!)

Anyway, blah blah blah, everyone loves the soccer player, because he looks like Gerard Butler, of course, except he loves the woman he left behind. Like, who doesn’t love the woman they left behind, except my ex-boyfriends, who all went on (mysteriously) to lead happy, productive lives.

But enough about me! Let’s talk some more about this stupid movie that everyone on Rotten Tomatoes hates!

Or actually, let’s not. We’ve given it enough of our time.

So when does The Hobbit open?

Watson is even cuter with pointy ears and a sword, I think.

Watson is even cuter with pointy ears and a sword, I think.

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2 Comments

  1. Jamin said,

    As if i wasn’t excited enough by the prospect of Martin Freeman as Bilbo, I just found out that apparently Benedict Cumberbatch is doing the voice of Smaug?! Soooo can’t wait for the Hobbit 🙂

    • lokifire said,

      I know!! It’ll be like watching an episode of Sherlock, but with more swordfightery!

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