So, yea, you guys! The Hobbit opens this weekend! And I’ve heard it’s really, really long. Like super-long! Like why-did-they-split-it-into-three-movies long!
And that’s great because it means three times as much Watson, it does! (Or, you know, Martin Freeman, whatever.)
Now, being a person who only read The Hobbit once in high school and didn’t particularly like it at the time, I don’t know much about Hobbits except that this song is still awesome. So I was expecting to learn great things from the trailer. And I totally did.
Like Ian McKellan is still the bestest ever, and I want him to be in all the movies all the time.
Other than that, though, I’m not sure.
(I think the trailer was counting on me to be smarter than I am?)
What I could glean, though, is that Bilbo Baggins, who will grow up to be Ian Holm, is visited by Gandalf the Wizard and a whole bucketload of dwarves and maybe a guy who’s supposed to be a human or something? (He seemed taller than the rest, but I didn’t see any pointy ears, but I have to say that he had a lot of hair all over the place, so there might have been pointy ears hiding somewhere.)
And somehow, they talk Bilbo Baggins into going on an adventure of some kind, to claim mumble mumble, part where I couldn’t understand what anyone was saying. And I have to say: More power to them! Go adventuring, you dwarves, wizards, Hobbits and possibly humans! And on the way, I hope you learn the power of proper enunciation!
Also, there’s giants who want to eat Bilbo Baggins, like, don’t they know he’s famous now?, and a scary cliff crossing and that horrid, horrid Gollum is back.
Anyway, long story short: Making a long story short is something Peter Jackson can’t do. Making a short story long?