Dear Yakuza with Glasses (a character in one of the best films ever, Versus),
I love you.
Sure, you’re probably dating Yakuza Leader with Butterfly Knife, but I think you need to drop him and consider dating/wedding me instead.
There are many reasons why, such as: I won’t encourage you to engage in plots against our evil, immortal boss that will end with you getting your heart ripped out, turned into a zombie, and then cut up by Tak Sakaguchi. Because that’s not what I want for you, Yakuza with Glasses.
What I want for you is to shoot more zombies in a completely deadpan way, like when that one guy lifts you up by the throat and you just casually reach for your gun and shoot him till he drops you. Or when you’re attacked by two zombies with guns and you move out of the way right in time and then they shoot each other and you wipe off your glasses because there’s blood all over them.
Basically, Yakuza with Glasses, I want you to be surrounded by zombies all the time.
Because it’s hot.