A love letter to Reggie Mantle

January 31, 2013 at 10:38 am (I Propose to Fictional Characters) (, )

Dear Reggie,

I’ll admit it. When I was but a wee lass reading Archie comics, you were the boy for me.

My per-adolescent heart just went pitter-pat.

My pre-adolescent heart just went pitter-pat.

I just couldn’t understand what everyone saw in Archie Andrews. He was a bit goofy, redheaded, and couldn’t decide between two girls! What’s so appealing about that, right?

No, seriously, I never got it.

No, seriously, I never got it.

Besides that, he didn’t have your traits of deviousness, sneakiness and shiftiness. Actually, Reggie Mantle, that’s only one character trait, because those are all synonyms. But what a character trait it is! You were willing to go to any length, to do anything to get what you wanted. I think that thing was Veronica Lodge, but it could have just been “humiliating Archie Andrews,” I don’t know.

Ooh, accomplishing both things at once. Admirable!

Ooh, accomplishing both things at once. Admirable!

And I want you to know, Reggie Mantle, I respect that.

That gung-ho attitude. That willingness to resort to underhanded means.

That will serve you well in the real world (should you ever, you know, choose to inhabit the real world, rather than the happy cartoon land of Riverdale High), where all the successful people I know are sheer bastards, or just really really talented. You know already, Reggie Mantle, even in your cheerful illustrated world, that hard work and determination just aren’t enough.

Which is why, Reggie Mantle, someday, you’re going to go far.

And you've already got a dapper hat to wear when you get there!

And you’ve already got a dapper hat to wear when you get there!

And I want to be right there beside you.

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3 Comments

  1. GreasersAreTheNewAwesome said,

    *Snicker* Ha! Ha ha! That was beyond hilarious. I love the Archies, and although I’m more of a Jughead-lover, I will say Reggie was not only good for a few of the greatest Archie jokes (“Sorry, Right Number”, etc) but oddly cool looking in the last picture. đŸ˜‰

  2. Stacy said,

    He was my favorite too. I just thought he was handsomer and funnier than Archie, who tended to have everything work out for him through luck or Jughead’s interventions, 90% of the time. Reggie was always getting clobbered by Moose (even though he was the only one daring or stupid enough to consistently hit on Midge), and he often had his talents ignored (Reggie’s good at sports, but nobody wants to hear about how many touchdowns he scored against Central High School, and he’s the bassist in their band but doesn’t have fangirls the way Archie does.)
    So I kind of felt sorry for him being the designated loser, while at the same time was attracted to him for having dark hair, a cooler car, and more stylish clothing compared to Archie. What? I was twelve, I was allowed to be shallow. *hmmph*

    • lokifire said,

      You’re perfectly justified in your shallowness, Stacy. Brunettes are HAWT.

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