It’s true. I don’t care about the Superbowl at all. I know it’s probably unpatriotic. Feel free to confiscate my miniature American flag.
Everyone I know watches the Superbowl. Even my parents do, and they don’t watch sports on TV at all.
Once, when I still worked at the newspaper, I got involved in the Superbowl pot at work. My friend in the sports department gave me a buck and chuckled a little when I turned in my form and explained my strategy: I picked the teams with the cooler names. For instance, if the Vikings were playing the Dolphins, I picked the Vikings. While Vikings are horrific bastards, dolphins are horrific-er bastards, so therein lies the logic.
And so, despite my rather illogical method, it came down to me and a photographer for the whole pot.
“You’ll have to watch the Superbowl now,” the sports department said.
“What, aren’t you guys going to have a headline about it tomorrow?” I wondered.
“Well, yes,” they said.
“Oh, good, because otherwise that would ruin my streak of not watching any sports except for the Olympics, which I really only watch for the patriotism in inspires in me.”
And later I won the pot.
The moral of the story is: If I don’t care about the Superbowl at all when there’s money on the line, what makes you think I can even remember who’s playing this year?
Anyway, I’m sorry or something.