Princess Leia vs. Turanga Leela

February 7, 2013 at 11:52 am (Fictional Character Battles) (Cowboy Bebop, Futurama, Princess Leia, Spike Spiegel, Star Wars, Turanga Leela)

Here’s a battle between two lovely ladies for your reading pleasure. What do Leia Organa and Turanga Leela have in common, you ask?

Leela and Leia kind of sound alike, that’s what.

On to the battle!

Physicality. One is a young Carrie Fisher with either really long hair or a late 20th-century weave. The other is a Cyclops that is also a cartoon. Winner? Hey, who doesn’t find cartoons attractive? … Seriously, though, it’s a tie.

There is literally nothing wrong with having a crush on a cartoon character when he’s this awesome.

Is an interstellar space princess? Again with the redundancy, but I really enjoy saying “interstellar space.” Anywho, you know who’s an interstellar space princess? Princess Leia! Princess Leia is an interstellar space princess. Winner? Princess Leia!

They don’t get more interstellar space princess-y than that!

Is a sewer-dwelling mutant? Hey, Leela doesn’t live in the sewers! But her parents do, and sometimes she visits, so we’ll call it “close enough.” Winner? Turanga Leela!

Plus, in a fight, she tends to side with the sewer-dwelling mutants.

Has a ray gun? Everybody in the future has ray guns! Also, people living long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away. They also have ray guns. Winner? Everybody wins when they’ve got ray guns!

Ray gun!

Ray gun! (Again.)

Has a better romantic interest? Princess Leia’s romantic interest is Han Solo. They’ve got a will-they-or-won’t-they thing going on, and it turns out they totally will, and everybody went squeeeeee! Han Solo is an interstellar space pirate who looks like a young Harrison Ford. Turanga Leela’s romantic is Philip J. Fry, a sweet-natured, slightly dim 20th century boy who ended up in the future through a wacky series of misadventures. Well, okay, just the one misadventure, really. Winner? As with Kara Thrace before him, anybody who goes up against a young Harrison Ford is going to come up just a wee bit short. Princess Leia.

Although, let it never be said that I wasn’t rooting for this to happen pretty much all along.

Travels through space? In the future and also, apparently, in the past, everybody travels through space.

Winner? It’s a tie.

Looks good in a Slave Leia costume? If you’d think the winner would be obvious, then you haven’t see this image before:

Mrow!

Winner? Another tie!

Oh, of course we weren’t getting out of here without an actual Slave Leia picture, never fear.

Fights an epic evil? If by “fights an epic evil,” you mean “delivers packages to other planets,” then, yes, Turanga Leela fights an epic evil. But you don’t mean that, so: Winner? Princess Leia.

Pilots an interstellar delivery ship? Man, if there’s one thing Star Wars fans would love to see, it would be Princess Leia piloting an interstellar delivery ship. Unfortunately, she doesn’t, so they can’t. Winner? Turanga Leela.

Oh, man, I totally forgot about the time she fought Captain Kirk.

Overall winner? Princess Leia coasts in to the finish line with a slight lead by having the good fortune to fall in love with Han Solo. (I’m not sure why I went with the finish line metaphor, because then these would be fictional character races, not fictional character battles, but we’ll just chalk that one up to creative license, eh?)

Squeeee! Quoth everyone.

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