Bird feet should be attached to birds, always

March 21, 2013 at 9:34 am (Stuff that Bugs Me Right Now)

So a thing I didn’t realize would be a new horror to trouble me is disembodied bird feet. First there was the chicken feet at that Halloween party I went to. Now there’s my neighbor, putting dead geese on his garage roof, and then pieces of the dead geese blow off into our yard so that when myself, my daughter and our dog are innocently playing in the yard, we come across a lone goose foot.

Our reactions were varied and as follows:

My daughter: “Cool, is that a bird foot?”

My dog: “I’m totally going to eat that when you’re not looking.”

Me: “OH GOD IT’S A FOOT THERE’S A FOOT IN THE YARD GAHHHHHH A FOOT SOMEONE GET ME LIKE TWELVE PLASTIC BAGS AND A SHOVEL WITH A REALLY LONG HANDLE TO GET THAT TO THE GARBAGE BECAUSE IT’S A FOOT IN OUR YARD GAHHHHH.”

Dear God, will the nightmare never END?

Dear God, will the nightmare never END?

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