A love letter to “John Harrison”

May 29, 2013 at 11:09 am (I Propose to Fictional Characters) (, )

Dear “John Harrison,”

(If that is your real name, which, spoiler alert, it’s not.)

(Seriously, though, everybody guessed it, so it’s not a spoiler alert at all.)

Let me start over:

Dear “John Harrison,”

Can I touch your face?

Um, like, a lot?

Um, like, a lot?

No, really. Could I?

You see, “John Harrison,” there are many things I love about you, and many of them are right there on your face, like your insanely high cheekbones and those eyes and *deep, girlish sigh*….

Of course, that’s not all I love about you. I also enjoy your height. That’s quite nice. And your hair is good also.

Your badass poses are also doing it for me, I have to admit.

Your badass poses are also doing it for me, I have to admit.

Oooh, ooh, and the way you killed Robocop! That was great. Also the way you punched a lot of people while you’re wearing black, and the way you killed a lot of Klingons while you were wearing black and also those boots you wore. (Which were black.)

Somehow, the boots look better on you than on New Captain Kirk or Sylar from Heroes.

Somehow, the boots look better on you than on New Captain Kirk or Sylar from Heroes.

I also love the way you totally caused the death of New Captain Kirk (although I’m less enamored of the way it’s your fault he came back to life) and the way you put a hurting on Sylar from Heroes. That was really hot, and I want you to know I am down with you attempting to kill the crew of the USS Enterprise because, with the exception of Scottie, they’re all kind of annoying.

Actually, if you could spare Uhura too, because she's sooooo pretty and kind of badass, I'd appreciate it.

Actually, if you could spare Uhura too, because she’s sooooo pretty and kind of badass, I’d appreciate it.

Anyway, KAAAAHHHHHNNNN!!!!, er, I mean “JOHHHHHHHHNNNN!!!!”, I hope you will consider my proposal for your hand. Or, if not, please, please, please can I touch your face?

Please?

Please?

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1 Comment

  1. cumberkitty said,

    I stumbled upon your blog here a couple days ago and just adored it, and be warned that I posted it on the message boards of IMDB re: Benedict Cumberbatch and well…they all loved it, too! 🙂 Very cute, entertaining, and witty writing, and on a subject I find particularly (gorgeous) erm INTERESTING. 🙂 This particular one was one of my favorites though! I *just* had a thought, if you were looking for more people to go up against Sherlock Holmes…has anyone suggested Dexter…?? I would love to see your take on that!

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