Maybe your kid doesn’t WANT to be famous, Will Smith

May 31, 2013 at 10:19 am (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , )

Wikipedia says that After Earth is “a 2013 American science fiction film directed by M. Night Shyamalan that he co-wrote with Gary Whitta based on an original story idea by Will Smith.”

Wikipedia says a lot of things.

Wikipedia says a lot of things.

That … is a terrible combination of things.

And it is made worse (of course) by Will Smith wanting this to be a starring vehicle for his son, who does seem like a very nice boy, but maybe not quite ready for all these leading roles? Like, let him work his way up to it, huh, Will Smith?

Look at that face, Will Smith! He so obviously is only doing this to please you!

Look at that face, Will Smith! He so obviously is only doing this to please you!

Anyway: After Earth. Will Smith stars as *snigger* Cypher Raige, because Will Smith is an 8-year-old boy, and Will Smith’s son stars as Kaita Raige, but I think he maybe really is an 8-year-old boy, and, also, that’s not his fault. The Raiges *snort* are on a mission to return to Earth, because this is the future and in every movie about the future this year, except that one with Evil Sherlock Holmes, has abandoned earth. Then there’s a terrible ship wreck and Kaita Raige *chuckle* has to learn to fight his fear and also a bunch of giant mutant animals because the tagline of the movie is: Danger is Real. Fear is a Choice.

Actually, I'm pretty sure Fear is a Biological Response.

Actually, I’m pretty sure Fear is a Biological Response.

Also, there’s not a twist, so that’s something.

Unless the twist is that it's possible to do better CGI than this, but no one on this movie bothered.

Unless the twist is that it’s possible to do better CGI than this, but no one on this movie bothered.

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