Miss Marple is a badass: A 10-point list

August 8, 2013 at 10:07 am (Top Ten) (, , )

Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple is the second-best fictional detective ever. Here’s a list of reasons why.

1. Well, she can’t be the best fictional detective ever because Sherlock Holmes.

"In your face, Jane Marple!"

“In your face, Jane Marple!”

2. She’s a spinster who enjoys crocheting and making her own brandy.

My aunt doesn't even drink. I wish Miss Marple was my aunt.

My aunt doesn’t even drink. I wish Miss Marple was my aunt.

3. She can solve a crime without dropping a row in her crocheting.

4. Miss Marple might look harmless, but Scotland Yard considers her an “avenging fury.”

An avenging fury in the cutest hat EVER.

An avenging fury in the cutest hat EVER.

5. People tell her all sorts of things they won’t tell the police or a male detective, because she’s a fluffy little old lady.

With the best taste in hats.

With the best taste in hats.

6. She’s always quick to credit her crime-solving to others, even though she really doesn’t have any reason to be modest, because she’s a genius.

7. If you’re thinking of committing a crime, you can count on her to talk you out of it without snitching to anyone else.

8. Did I mention she makes her own brandy?

And she's always like: "Oh, you poor dear, you've had such a shock. Let's get drunk to get over it, shall we?"

And she’s always like: “Oh, you poor dear, you’ve had such a shock. Let’s get drunk to get over it, shall we?”

9. She’s nice to everybody, except murderers.

10. Sometimes, she’s known as “Nemesis.” Because she is Bad. Ass.

No getting away with murder for you!

No getting away with murder for you!

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2 Comments

  1. brikhaus said,

    Yo! I just wanted to let you know, I’ve nominated you for the Liebster and Sunshine Awards! You have a great blog! Go here to check out the details: http://awesomelyshitty.wordpress.com/2013/08/10/its-time-to-honor-myself/

    • lokifire said,

      Awww! You sweetheart! I don’t even know what those are, but I’m totally honored.
      I’ll be clicking the link as soon as I’m done typing.

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