Ender’s Game: A movie based on a book I’ve never read

November 1, 2013 at 11:50 am (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , )

True confessions time, right now.

I don’t really enjoy reading science fiction.

No matter HOW unintentionally homoerotic.

No matter HOW unintentionally homoerotic.

It’s true. My high school crush (hi, Jon!) once lent me a copy of Isaac Asimov’s Foundation and it took me approximately five eternities to read it because SO BORING.

It's a short book, but it feels SO LONG.

It’s a short book, but it feels SO LONG.

So I’ve never read Ender’s Game, and I never will, especially now that I know Orson Scott Card is evil.

See? He's putting his fingers together like Mr. Burns and everything!

See? He’s putting his fingers together like Mr. Burns and everything!

And the movie?

I’m sorry, but Harrison Ford and magnificent ‘splosions aside, it looks like a boring piece of philosophical crap. Everyone’s like: “Ooooh, but what will happen to the BOY?” And it’s kind of like, “Well, he’ll kill a bunch of aliens and save the world and then maybe be ruined for life but isn’t that better than being on a planet that’s just been murdered by aliens?” Like, yeah, let’s pontificate on this one kid when the entire world is at stake. Sure. Good idea. That doesn’t sound really boring and just get to the alien fighting already!

Stop standing there, kid, and start blowing things up.

Stop standing there, kid, and start blowing things up.

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2 Comments

  1. brikhaus said,

    The book was lame.

    • lokifire said,

      Good! Then I’m glad I’m never reading it.

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