Thor 2: The Dark World starts out by reminding us that Loki exists. He’s in prison, apparently, and not a cave beneath the earth where a serpent drips venom on his face all the time, so he’s obviously going to be escaping soon.
Then it reminds us that Thor exists, which is great news for the shampoo makers of the world, because how does he keep his hair so shiny?
After that, it reminds us that Natalie Portman’s character exists and she’s in love with Thor, which is silly, because I’m pretty sure all the girls are into Loki nowadays, especially since he doesn’t seem so damn high-maintenance, like, Hey, Thor, stop brushing your pretty, pretty hair and let’s have a conversation why not?
Also, for some reason, Natalie Portman’s character slaps Loki because she’s supposed to be the representative of humanity or something and mad about whatever Loki did in The Avengers, but, seriously, can you really slap a trickster god without suffering horrifying consequences? Safe money says no.
Then there’s ‘splosions and fighting and Thor standing around shirtless and Natalie Portman floating into the air and looking scared and Sif shows up and I can’t remember when that many attractive people and fight scenes all looked so paint-by-numbers boring, omigod.