The best thing about Studio-Era Hollywood, of course, was the amazing photographs of movie stars. So here’s a list of 10 great actors and photos, to show you that you’re wrong to like movies nowadays.
1. Norma Shearer
The best thing about Norma Shearer is that she had a wonky eye and stubby little legs, and she still embodied sexy sophistication.
2. Myrna Loy
Myrna Loy was from Montana, like me! Unlike me, she was often chosen to play Chinese people in films, because Hollywood in the ’20s and ’30s was pretty racist and stupid. Also, they still are today.
3. Anna May Wong
Meanwhile, the stunning Anna May Wong, a fourth-generation American of Chinese descent, was TOO Chinese to play Chinese roles.
Dammit, Studio-Era Hollywood, stop testing my love for you.
4. Joan Crawford
Joan Crawford might not have been the nicest person, but, damn, did she take a good photo.
5. Bette Davis
Young Bette Davis was kind of gorgeous, and any-age Bette Davis is totally deserving of so many songs in her honor.
6. Louise Brooks
For years, I wanted my hair to do the Louise Brooks thing, and finally someone pointed out to me: “Eh, your hair’s a bit curly for that, right?”
7. Gary Cooper
Tallulah Bankhead was once quoted as saying she came to Hollywood to bang the luscious Gary Cooper. I can’t imagine why.
8. Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart
OK, this is kind of cheating, because it’s two movie stars, but it’s such a sensual, awesome picture, it’s one of my absolute favorites.
9. Veronica Lake
Yet another hairdo I could never imitate. Also the body type. Whatever. Veronica Lake might have been a famous movie star, but I’m aerodynamic.
10. Carole Lombard
Carole Lombard: the precursor to all sexy comediennes.