Digging too Deeply: December, 1963

June 20, 2014 at 11:17 am (I Overanalyze Song Lyrics) (, , , )

In honor of me recently learning this song I hate is by the Four Seasons, here’s an analysis of December, 1963 (Oh What a Night).

Because it might as well be stuck in your head too.

Because it might as well be stuck in your head too.

Frankie starts off by introducing us to a very special night that he remembers:

Oh, what a night
Late December, back in ’63
What a very special time for me
As I remember, what a night

Sadly, the night didn’t stick out so much that he remembers the date, other than “late December,” so … any time after the 19th, maybe? What is wrong with our lyricist that he can’t remember the date of this “very special time”? Does he have that thing I have, where I’d be useless as an alibi witness, ’cause things happened last week or maybe two years ago, how am I supposed to remember that? Or does he have a drinking problem?

Actually, my issue might be caused by my drinking problem, too.

Actually, my issue with dates is probably also caused by a drinking problem.

Oh, what a night
You know, I didn’t even know her name
But I was never gonna be the same
What a lady, what a night

Well, I guess back in 1963, people didn’t realize where STDs come from, so why bother learning her name? Especially if, with your drinking problem, you know you’ll just forget it anyway.

Oh, I
I got a funny feeling when she walked in the room
Hey, my
As I recall, it ended much too soon

Is premature ejaculation a symptom of alcoholism? I think it is.

Oh, what a night
Hypnotizing, mesmerizing me
She was everything I dreamed she’d be
Sweet surrender, what a night

OK, they definitely had sex here.

And I felt a rush like a rolling bolt of thunder
Spinning my head around and taking my body under
Oh, what a night

… Or they were taken by a riptide to their watery doom?

"Oh, God, if only we'd brought this infographic when we decided to have sex in the ocean!"

“Oh, God, if only we’d brought this infographic when we decided to have sex in the ocean!”

Oh, I
Got a funny feeling when she walked in the room
Hey, my
As I recall, it ended much too soon

Yeah, maybe not too brag about the impotence so much, eh?

"I'm sorry, baby, it's just ... I can't perform with all these white walls and white sheets and why are we both wearing white pajamas?"

“I’m sorry, baby, it’s just … I can’t perform with all these white walls and white sheets and why are we both wearing white pajamas?”

Oh, what a night
Why’d it take so long to see the light?
Seemed so wrong, but now it seems so right
What a lady, what a night

This last bit is a little odd: “Seemed so wrong, but now it seems so right,” because usually regret happens after you realize something that felt good was actually a terrible idea. I guess that’s what a drinking problem will do to you, though: “So I met some chick and we had sex in the ocean and we nearly drowned, and it was awful, but now that I’ve had a few mojitos, I think I would very much like to do it again.”

"Now nothing is a bad idea!"

“Now nothing is a bad idea!”

Oh, I felt a rush like a rolling bolt of thunder
Spinning my head around and taking my body under
Oh, what a night (Do do do do do, do do do do)
Oh, what a night (Do do do do do, do do do do)
Oh, what a night (Do do do do do, do do do do)
Oh, what a night (Do do do do do, do do do do)
Oh, what a night (Do do do do do, do do do do)
Oh, what a night (Do do do do do, do do do do)
Oh, what a night (Do do do do do, do do do do)

I’ve got nothing to say to this except DAMMIT I WILL NEVER GET THIS SONG OUT OF MY HEAD I HATE YOU AND YOUR STUPID BIOPIC, CLINT EASTWOOD.

Clint Eastwood: "Meh. Well, you're a liberal anyway."

Clint Eastwood: “Meh. Well, you’re a liberal anyway.”

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4 Comments

  1. brikhaus said,

    “Or they were taken by a riptide to their watery doom?”

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

    • lokifire said,

      WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING THAT’S TRAGIC!

  2. mxyplyzyk (@mr_mxyplyzyk) said,

    I think the whole “seemed so wrong” line is because the woman whose name he didn’t know but had sex with was a whore.

    • lokifire said,

      But wouldn’t it have still seemed right at the time? Unless he got off on the whole “this seems wrong” thing, I guess….

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