Snowpiercer! is a movie I finally saw

October 24, 2014 at 10:13 am (Randomosity) (, , , )

Snowpiercer! doesn’t actually have an exclamation point in it, but I’m just so excited.

It's the movie where the earth gets frozen over, and the only people alive are trapped on this train, and Chris Evans is in it, because he is awesome.

It’s the movie where the earth gets frozen over, and the only people alive are trapped on this train, and Chris Evans is in it, because he is awesome.

Sure, I didn’t get to see it on the big screen, because my state would never get an interesting movie that only appeals to a small audience, and also is dragging their heels on gay marriage. (I mean, c’mon! Wyoming is allowing gay marriage now! We’ve been beaten by Wyoming! With any luck, we could at least be less bigoted than, say, Texas?)

Let's beat Texas! Let's beat Texas! (... it's the only state I can recognize the shape immediately, all right?)

Let’s beat Texas! Let’s beat Texas!
(… it’s the only state I can recognize the shape immediately, all right?)

Anyway, though, Snowpiercer!, the movie I saw on the little screen, is really quite cool and good. It’s got, like, a metric shit-ton of great actors in it (and I just want to say to everyone how disappointed I am that nobody can seem to remember that Chris Evans is actually a really good actor; he might be Capt. America, but he’s also a guy who loves small sci-fi flicks, and is wonderful).

Lest you forget, he was in Sunshine.

Lest you forget, he was in Sunshine.

Also, here's a picture of him in this awesome fight scene. With axes!

Also, here’s a picture of him in this awesome fight scene. With axes!

Some people complained that the conceit of the train cars was too weird, but I can see how each separate train car would be its own little universe. Also, it’s kind of a metaphor, so run with it, you know? Some people also complained that Tilda Swinton’s acting choices were a bit off, but I thought it was because her character was supposed to be a bit off. I mean, everybody on the train was nuts; that’s what happens when all of humanity gets trapped on a train that goes round the world every year. So I thought her characterization was just fine, and also enjoyed her terrific dentures. That was great.

"WHAT DENTURES I AM NOT WEARING DENTURES WE MUST MAINTAIN ORDER ON THE TRAIN."

“WHAT DENTURES I AM NOT WEARING DENTURES WE MUST MAINTAIN ORDER ON THE TRAIN.”

Also, the ending. (Note: spoiler alerts abound in this paragraph, so, I guess, close your eyes if you don’t want to know.) The ending is: Chris Evans gets his arm ripped off in a Chekhov’s gun sort of way (he’d been bemoaning have two arms the whole movie, and everybody is like, “why?”, but it’s because everybody else chopped off their arms to help ward off starvation, and he was too cowardly), Kang-ho Song blows up the train…

*Sigh* Oh, Kang-ho Song, you can blow up my train any time.

*Sigh*
Kang-ho Song, you can blow up my train any time.

…and everybody dies, except two kids who wander out into the snow, presumably to freeze to death, but then they see a polar bear, so maybe it’s warm enough for humans to survive.

... At least until the food supply of "corpses on an exploded train" runs out.

… At least until the food supply of “corpses on an exploded train” runs out.

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