You want to dress up for Halloween, but you don’t know if you’ll be mistaken for a horrible, horrible bigot? Well, here’s a handy guide to help you figure out is your costume racist or not.
1. You’re going as a sexy Indian. That’s, yeah, kind of racist.
2. You’re going in a sheet with eyeholes cut out. There’s two kinds of sheets with eyeholes cut out.
Choose the good kind.
3. You’re going in blackface. Please don’t go in blackface. It doesn’t matter how you intend it, blackface has a terrible, terrible history, and you’ll be wearing all that history on your face.
4. You’re going as a sexy Geisha. I’ll admit I love Geisha costumes, because real kimono are just too hard for me to put on properly. But is it racist? Let’s just say it’s appropriating another culture. Do it with respect.
5. You’re going as a superhero. Probably not racist, but it kind of depends on the superhero.
6. You’re going as a sexy gangster. Gangsters weren’t really that sexy. They had all sorts of dental problems, and didn’t shower much from being on the run. That said? Not so racist.
7. You’re going in a sombrero. I guess I understand if you have a sombrero just hanging around the house and you’re like, what else am I going to do with it, but for God’s sake, don’t go all-out stereotype, and you should be okay.
8. You’re going to wear a turban. Why would you do that? You’re terrible.
9. You’re going as Elsa from Frozen. Not racist, but maybe pick something else, because there are already millions of 5-year-old girls wearing your costume.
10. You’re going as Freddy Krueger from Nightmare on Elm Street. Not racist, but you’re dressed up as a pedophile serial killer so, you know, there’s that.