Princess Bubblegum vs. Strawberry Shortcake

November 20, 2014 at 1:07 pm (Fictional Character Battles) (, , , )

Because they both have pink hair, and because I haven’t done a fictional character battle in ages, that’s why.

Anyway, Princess Bubblegum is a character in Adventure Time, one of the best cartoons ever, and Strawberry Shortcake, I think, was in a cartoon in the ’80s, and then again later, but mostly existed to sell scented dolls to little girls.

Princess Bubblegum is ... not like Disney princesses.

Princess Bubblegum is … not like Disney princesses.

Looks like Strawberry Shortcake's had some work done.

Looks like Strawberry Shortcake’s had some work done.

Which one is better?

Need I even ask?

On to the battle!

Physicality. Princess Bubblegum is a tall willowy sort who is made out of bubblegum. Strawberry Shortcake is short, kind of stout, and possibly made out of strawberry shortcake, or else why would she smell like that? Winner? Princess Bubblegum.

Also, her cosplayers are just like awwww.

Also, her cosplayers are just like awwww.

Rules a land of living confectioneries? Princess Bubblegum is the ruler of the Candy Kingdom, a kingdom she created by making people out of candy and somehow giving them life. She’s basically a god. Strawberry Shortcake lives in a world populated by living cupcakes and stuff, I think. I don’t know. I only pinked her because they both have pink hair. Anyway, the winner by a technicality is Princess Bubblegum, because she is absolutely a princess.

I can only assume everyone living in the Candy Kingdom has diabetes.

I can only assume everyone living in the Candy Kingdom has diabetes.

Might have dated a lovely lady vampire? Princess Bubblegum might have dated Marceline the Vampire Queen. In fact, she probably did. And if she didn’t, maybe she should, because they would make a totally cute couple. Strawberry Shortcake has never met a lovely lady vampire, let alone dated one. Winner? Princess Bubblegum.

See? Freaking adorable!

See? Fecking adorable!

Smells like strawberry shortcake? I feel kind of bad for Strawberry Shortcake as she endures this rout. Here’s a gimme category for her.

Technically, she smells like the plastic version of strawberry shortcake, but close enough.

Technically, she smells like the plastic version of strawberry shortcake, but close enough.

Sells more merchandise? And another, because there are seriously not enough Adventure Time toys, I want all of them!! Winner? Strawberry Shortcake.

Pictured here: My bedroom, soon.

Pictured here: My bedroom, soon.

Has issues with power? Princess Bubblegum is a benevolent dictator. Sometimes she does bad things, but it’s for the good of her people. Like when she created an immortal sphinx that went mad or when she brought about a zombie apocalypse (twice) or when she had the robots that used to guard the candy kingdom destroyed or maybe I should just stop now, because she’s not coming across all that well. Strawberry Shortcake is not a power-mad despot, and god bless her for it. Winner? Princess Bubblegum.

She's mad with power! And also mad with being turned into a zombie.

She’s mad with power! And also mad with being turned into a zombie.

Overall winner, because it’s time for lunch? Princess Bubblegum.

What? I'm hungry!

What? I’m hungry!

 

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