Vital statistics are pretty boring

March 23, 2015 at 9:49 am (Stuff that Bugs Me Right Now)

Part of my job is inputting vital statistics for death certificates. Because I live in Eastern Montana, the answer for race is, 9.9 times out of 10, white. (If you’ve never been to Eastern Montana, bring your sunglasses — it’s pasty out here.)

Today, though, I got to input a lady’s ancestry of English, Irish and Scottish.

She was, quite possibly, the whitest person OF ALL.

She was, quite possibly, the whitest person OF ALL.



  1. Frank Schulaner said,

    1. God has (used to have) this thing about white people. Jewish genealogists and geneticists, and some of their best friends, have noticed that when they split “European Jews” into two sub-cohorts–“Descendants of Aaron the High Priest” and “Descendants of Everybody else in the Old and New Testaments, including, for all we know . . .”

    It turns out Aaron’s kids–but who does the math?–are almost up there with the Irish when it comes to red hair and pale skin. One of the lessons of Miami Beach.

    2. I should continue my tradition of saying nice things about your EveryDayFiction stories. “The Fattest Dog in the World” handled a horribly depressing theme amazingly well. Depressing, though. So depressing.

    • lokifire said,

      1. That’s interesting! As a mixed-race person in a predominantly white area, I always pay attention to the race selection on vital statistics. It’s nice they’re letting you choose more than one option now. When I was in high school, I always had to “select one” on forms, and so I’d just pick and choose depending on my mood: “Today I’m Native American.” “Today I’m white.” “Today I’m black.” Now I can be like: “Oh, good, I’m all three.”
      2. Thank you! I’m sorry it was depressing. I was driving home from work, and the title and the last line popped into my head, so the poor puppy was doomed from the get-go! 😦
      (I’ve got a list of all my publications on the right-hand side of my blog, so if you’re interested, you can always check them out. Thanks so much for reading my work!)

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