Brightening everyone’s day with unicorn jokes!

May 28, 2015 at 9:49 am (Randomosity) ()

I lied. There’s actually only one unicorn joke that I tell, and I shared it with my boss yesterday:

“How do you catch a unicorn?”

"Well, they like virgins, right? Something to do with virgins."

“Well, they like virgins, right? Something to do with virgins.”

“How?” said my boss, looking worried.

“Unique up on it!”

“Ha ha,” he said.

“Do you get it?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you get it? It’s ’cause they both start with –”

“I get it.”

“– the same three letters.”

“I get it.”

“Uni!”

"Not the University of Northern Idaho, just, you know, uni!"

“Not the University of Northern Idaho, just, you know, uni!”

“Yeah, I got it the first time.”

“Yeah, ’cause they start with the same three letters.”

Later that same day, I shared the joke with my daughter, and this was basically her reaction.

Later that same day, I shared the joke with my daughter, and this was basically her reaction.

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3 Comments

  1. Jamin said,

    Hah, dad jokes are my favorite. But you’re a mom. What gives? (Seriously, though, stereotypes aside, I’ve never met a woman with an appreciation for dad jokes before.)

    Speaking of… So this guy graduates college and decides to travel the world for a few years before he settles down to a career and family. One day he’s crossing this huge desert, let’s say the Sahara, and right in the dead center of the desert, as he’s cresting this dune, he looks down and sees a concrete slab. His curiosity is obviously piqued, so he gets closer to examine it. As he approaches, he sees that in the middle of the slab are a lever and a huge snake. He’s just about to back away from the snake when the snake starts speaking. The snake informs him that his name is Nate, and over the course of a long discussion, the man learns that Nate has been on this slab since the beginning of time. See, the lever is the reset switch for Eternity, and Nate’s job is to guard that lever. Obviously, having existed for all time, Nate has seen a lot of things (even out in the middle of the desert) and has some very interesting insights. So the man spends several days there chatting with Nate, and the two become close friends.

    Years go by, but the man always makes sure to visit Nate every few years. Eventually, he meets the right woman and they settle down and raise a family. More years pass, and the man is getting on in years. He starts to realize he probably has only one more trip to visit Nate left in him. He decides he wants to make this one last trip, but this time he wants to bring his whole family to meet his dear friend Nate (up to this point his visits were always a solo affair).

    So he packs everyone up in the Winnebago and they set off across the desert. Unfortunately, right as they are cresting the last dune before Nate’s slab, the brakes on the Winnebago give out. As he’s careening down the dune toward his friend, his mind is racing frantically. There’s no way he can stop in time, so his only choice is to swerve. Unfortunately, given the limited maneuverability of a Winnebago on desert sand, he can only swerve enough to miss either the lever or Nate, but not both. In the end, though it breaks his heart, he chooses to swerve toward his dear friend Nate, rather than for the switch that would have ended the universe. In the end, it was better Nate than lever.

    • lokifire said,

      I’ve heard that one before! As soon as I started reading, I was like, wait, is this the one with the really long buildup to a pun? It is! It IS the one with the really long buildup to a pun!

      • Jamin said,

        One of my favorite memories in recent years is that of telling that joke to my grandpa, and seeing the disappointed look on his face as he told me how terrible it was. That sounds bad, and my grandpa was awesome and I loved him dearly, but I mean, yeah… being terrible and disappointing is kind of the whole point of that joke. It’s not exactly what one would class as an “anti-joke,” but it’s still pretty lame and makes me smile every time đŸ™‚

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