Refueling the Transporter

September 4, 2015 at 10:14 am (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (Jason Statham, John Cena, No Escape, Tom Cruise, Transporter Refueled)

Last week, I didn’t go see No Escape, because it looked like a dumb movie about white people trying to flee a foreign country, where THANK GOD, no one of any importance was being killed, just a bunch of foreigners, am I right, jingoism for the win, WHOOO.

Oh, gosh, I sure hope the white Americans survive.

This week, I’m not seeing The Transporter Refueled, which doesn’t even have John Cena (going by Jason Statham, for some reason) in it anymore.

So I mixed up two bald dudes. Sue me.

Although, actually, they really don’t look that much alike at all, do they?

I mean, at least the Mission Impossible series has the decency to keep casting Tom Cruise in ’em, instead of replacing him with some dude who looks just like him.

“But it would really boost my career!”

Also, I guess I’m just not that big into car chase movies where the ladies all throw themselves at the car driver movie, but he’s all stoic and blah blah blah, and in the end he saves the day, whatever.

And, FINE, I guess he doesn’t look that much like Jason Statham either, whatever, I don’t care anymore.